During 2020 I decided to branch out more and discover more entertainment and more art that I hadn’t experienced yet. This led me to the IMDB Top 250. Recently I made it halfway through and I wanted to share my rankings and my thoughts. Since these are the best of the best I’ve given each movie their own best picture superlative. (Number in parentheses are IMDB ranking and number on the side are mine)

1. The Dark Knight (4)- Best Picture For: Being compared to every new superhero movie ever
2. The Shawshank redemption (1)- Best Picture For: Having a poster that spoils the movie
3. Inception (13)- Best Picture For: The trailer that changed everything
4. Return of the Jedi (85)- Best Picture For: Having homicidal bears that make some people really upset
5. Terminator 2 (38)- Best Picture For: How to do a proper sequel
6. Infinity War (64)- Best Picture For: Zoe Saldana haters
7. 1917 (93)- Best Picture For: Being a war movie not about WWII or Vietnam
8. The Prestige (47)- Best Picture For: Magic David Bowie that’s not Labyrinth
9. Aliens (74)- Best Picture For: Alienating the horror movie crowd
10. The dark knight rises (71)- Best Picture For: Bane’s voice setting the standard for Nolan’s sound engineer
11. Full metal jacket (99)- Best Picture For: People leaving halfway in
12. Saving private Ryan (26)- Best Picture For: People leaving twenty minutes in
13. Forrest Gump (12)- Best Picture For: Stopping Richard Nixon. God bless you Forrest
14. Memento (55)- Best Picture For: B movie +Gimmick= A+
15. Good will hunting (88)- Best Picture For: Baseball gloves
16. The usual suspects (33)- Best Picture For: A prequel to Seven
17. Empire strikes back (14)- Best Picture For: Being compared to every sequel ever
18. The last crusade (121)- Best Picture For: Buddy cop comedy
19. Schindler’s list (5)- Best Picture For: Best Picture
20. Ford v ferrari (197)- Best Picture For: Fast and Furious for the Oscars
21. The Truman show (171)- Best Picture For: Conspiracy theories
22. Se7en (20)- Best Picture For: Letting us know about Kevin Spacey
23. Whiplash (46)- Best Picture For: Anxiety inducing jazz
24. The silence of the lambs (23)- Best Picture For: Putting the Sir in Sir Anthony Hopkins
25. 3 Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri (151)- Best Picture For: Grief
26. Prisoners (200)- Best Picture For: Wait, that guy is gonna be the riddler? Oh my...
27. Parasite (30)- Best Picture For: Explaining class systems better than school
28. 12 Angry Men (5)- Best Picture For: Truth being relative
29. Fight Club (11)- Best Picture For: Having a quote everyone knows, but actually about the dismantling of society as we know it
30. The Sixth Sense (164)- Best Picture For: Proving M. Night was once a legend
31. Star wars: A new hope (25)- Best Picture For: Creating the largest hate group of all time. Star Wars fans
32. Raiders of the lost ark (56)- Best Picture For: Being a cool Sunday school lesson and a movie about beating the Nazi’s at the same time
33. The Departed (44)- Best Picture For: Rats
34. Pulp Fiction (8)- Best Picture For: Everyone skipping Bruce Willis’ hotel section
35. Lawrence of Arabia (109)- Best Picture For: What 1917 did for one shot WWI films this movie did for coloration and shot composition for WW1 films
36. Django Unchained (60)- Best Picture For: Bounty hunting
37. Fargo (176)- Best Picture For: Midwesterners
38. Interstellar (31)- Best Picture For: Quantum physicists
39. Hacksaw ridge (190)- Best Picture For: Having a pacifist first half and the most violent things you’ll ever see in the second
40. Up (122)- Best Picture For: People leaving 15 minutes in
41. Monsters Inc (232)- Best Picture For: Making liars of parents who said there’s no monsters in your closet
42. Toy story 3 (110)- Best Picture For: Breaking grown adults
43. Toy story (81)- Best Picture For: Getting every 2D animator fired
44. Endgame (73)- Best Picture For: Audience applause
45. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (96)- Best Picture For: Break up depression
46. Kill bill Vol.1 (175)- Best Picture For: Quinten Tarintino doing whatever he wants for four hours straight
47. Requiem for a dream (91)- Best Picture For: Being a better drug PSA than anything school taught
48. Inglourious Basterds (86)- Best Picture For: Learning German through tension
49. The lion king (35)- Best Picture For: Being a PG Hamlet musical
50. Spotlight (226)- Best Picture For: Redeeming Scott Templeton from The Wire
51. The Green Mile (29)- Best Picture For: Weeping
52. Gone girl (188)- Best Picture For: Never trusting your spouse again
53. The Godfather Part 2 (3)- Best Picture For: Being the best prequel-sequel outside of lion king one and a half
54. The Matrix (16)- Best Picture For: Woah’s
55. Die hard (127)- Best Picture For: Being the template of every action movie to come after it
56. Logan (218)- Best Picture For: Proving X Men movies can be good
57. Hamilton (27)- Best Picture For: The reason to get Disney +
58. Hotel Rwanda (225)- Best Picture For: Being Schindler's list for people that hate black and white
59. Goodfellas (17)- Best Picture For: The origin of the Wet Bandits
60. Room (172)- Best Picture For: People that think castaway is overrated
61. The Pianist (37)- Best Picture For: Being Schindler's List for people that hate black and white
62. Inside out (160)- Best Picture For: Expressing emotions better than you ever will
63. Braveheart (78)- Best Picture For: FREEDOM!
64. Gladiator (42)- Best Picture For: Showing the good half of Ridley Scott’s filmography
65. The Shining (62)- Best Picture For: Pissing off Stephen King
66. Back to the future (36)- Best Picture For: Being a light hearted family movie that has plot points of rape and incest
67. Dr. Strangelove (69)- Best Picture For: Satire of the Cold War
68. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (9)- Best Picture For: Being so proud of a piece of music you include it as much as possible
69. City of God (22)- Best Picture For: Being the most violent movie I’ve ever seen
70. The Godfather (2)- Best Picture For: Proving Al Pacino was once a good actor
71. Batman begins (130)- Best Picture For: Creating the gritty superhero genre
72. Apocalypse Now (54)- Best Picture For: Cow parallels
73. The terminator (245)- Best Picture For: The movie with that one quote in it
74. Wall-e (63)- Best Picture For: An easily digestible dystopian look at our bleak future
75. Alien (74) - Best Picture For: Being the wrong answer to Alien vs. Aliens
76. Return of the King (7)- Best Picture For: *Insert multiple endings joke here
77. Deathly Hallows part 2 (217)- Best Picture For: Milking cash from consumers and milking tears from fans
78. Finding Nemo (170)- Best Picture For: Anxiety for parents
79. Dead gets society (214)- Best Picture For: Creating the gold standard for teachers that can never be met
80. Mad Max; Fury Road (205)- Best Picture For: Fire guitars
81. Pan’s labyrinth (142)- Best Picture For: If Alan Moore wrote the Chronicles of Narnia
82. It’s a wonderful life (24)- Best Picture For: Wait this Christmas movie is about suicide
83. How to train your dragon (199)- Best Picture For: Adorable killer beasts
84. Stand by me (206)- Best Picture For: Oh this is where stranger things comes from
85. Coco (76)- Best Picture For: Crying in Spanish
86. The princess bride (244)- Best Picture For: A bigger disparity in quality from first half to second than full metal jacket
87. Catch me if you can (195)- Best Picture For: Being Spielberg's most underrated movie
88. Into the spider verse (67)- Best Picture For: Actually doing a good job replacing an iconic character
89. Before sunrise (193) Best Picture For: Being a super unrealistic love story yet at the same time extremely honest
90. Warrior (161)- Best Picture For: Having actors before they were famous do a better fighting movie than Rocky
91. Fellowship of the ring (10)- Best Picture For: *Insert eagles joke here
92. Two Towers (15)- Best Picture For: Being the first of many opportunities to give Andy Serkis an Oscar
93. Amadeus (83)- Best Picture For: The kind of movie you watch expecting nothing and being blown away
94. Jurassic park (166)- Best Picture For: Having a banner fall over a T-Rex
95. Rocky (230)- Best Picture For: Training montages
96. Joker (58)- Best Picture For: Wait this is ranked 58th movie of all time. It’s great and all… but 58th really?
97. Raging bull (147): Insecure boxing
98. 2001 (90)- Best Picture For: Educated stoners
99. Million Dollar Baby (209)- Best Picture For: Adding depth to the argument is Hillary Swank hot or not
100. Platoon (215) - Best Picture For: Charlie Sheen not being on your TV at 2 at night for two and a half men reruns
101. Gran Torino (180)- Best Picture For: Clint Eastwood learning not to be so racist
102. There will be blood (148)- Best Picture For: Milkshakes
103. Network (207)- Best Picture For: Prophesying clickbait
104. A clockwork orange (102)- Best Picture For: Make sure no one walks in on you watching this movie
105. Taxi Driver (106)- Best Picture For: The movie with that one quote in it
106. Rear Window (52) Best Picture For: Peeping Toms
107. Green Book (131)- Best Picture For: Ending racism
108. The Help (243)- Best Picture For: Ending racism
109. One flew over the cuckoo’s nest (18)- Best Picture For: Jack Nicholson is Jack Nicholson in a psych ward
110. The wolf of wall street (143)- Best Picture For: Make sure no one walks in on you watching this movie
111. V for Vendetta (156)- Best Picture For: Making a random day in November a nerd holiday
112. Witness for the prosecution (68)- Best Picture For: Having six plot twists in five minutes
113. Sunset Blvd. (65)- Best Picture For: Lying to help someone’s mental health and hoping it ends well
114. To kill a mockingbird (119)- Best Picture For: Having a dog die that inadvertently propels the plot that’s not of mice and men
115. The General (198)- Best Picture For: Train enthusiasts
116. A Beautiful mind (139)- Best Picture For: Being a boring biopic, having a twist, and then being boring again
117. The Circus (236)- Best Picture For: Music but with pictures
118. The Kid (101)- Best Picture For: Music but with pictures
119. Blade runner (169)- Best Picture For: Having more cuts than a butcher house
120. Monty python and the holy grail (126)- Best Picture For: If quoting, opens doors like some form of secret society
121. Heat (124)- Best Picture For: Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro fanfiction
122. Monty python’s life of Brian (216)- Best Picture For: Making Christians mad without seeing it even though the movie is about blindly following the crowd
123. Anand (125)- Best Picture For: Random sing along sections
124. Hachi: a dog's tale (211)- Best Picture For: Not being a good movie but at least it has a dog
125. Klaus (185)- Best Picture For: Being overrated

I remember a time where bad films would be terrible and good films were good, every now and then there was a great film but I remember there would be films so bad that it confuses you as to who thought this was a good idea.
Lets start with 2010 with something like Pyaar Impossible which on paper sounds like a good idea (A geeky young man is paired together with the most beautiful girl in college through a twist of fate, leaving a strange but great love to blossom.) but that was it. I think that must've been the bottom of the barrel.
Fast forward to 2012, we have a project so bad that I'm quoting IMDB here "Akshay Kumar was very unhappy with the film and refused to promote it, even though it was made by his own production company.". Joker was a Shrish Kunder film and honestly, I commend Jacqueline Fernandez for trying a new character in Mrs.Serial Killer but I have not much faith, I'm hoping he proves me wrong but this seems like one of projects that Manoj Bajpayee did because the shoot was in the same studio as a film he wanted to do.
2013 we have Besharam and Himmatwala and how can I forget, Dhoom 3 (At the time I thought that was the lowest Aamir's career could go but ToH proved us wrong). I have never seen Besharam but I think I can agree when a consensus when critics and fans both dislike the product and that sucks because I really like Ranbir, he just has some terrible luck. Himmatwala is a bit like Rowdy Rathore or R... Rajkumar, where they are so bad that they're kind of mindless fun but Himmatwala didn't give me that kind of spark. I like Ajay Devgns presence on screen but this film is just so bad.
2014 gave us Jai Ho and Happy New Year. Jai Ho was just a shambles of a film, the only reason I had sat down to watch it was because I heard it had Suniel Shetty and Tabu but their screentime was probably 3 mins combined. This was sort of where I began to see the combination of 50 year old men and 20 year old women as Salman and Daisy Shah had been paired opposite and I felt bad for her. I actually went on IMDB to look up some trivia and I had learned that this piece of garbage was directed by Sohail Khan, so I should've seen this coming.
Happy New Year, what an idea. A group of Bollywood actors who looked great paired together. The pairing of SRK and Deepika, an iconic pairing if I say so myself, the hilarious Boman Irani and the underrated Abhishek Bachchan. Of course Sonu Sood was just there as the muscle and Vivaan Shah was just well, the hacker. This film should've worked on paper, I don't know why we don't see too many ensemble cast films nowadays. I don't mean to sound like I am defending this film, it is shite. That is all, it could've great and a great thing for SRK, a great boost for Vivaan Shah as his debut but I don't remember a positive out of this film besides the teams chemistry.
2015, the year where we get films like Badlapur, Tamasha, Bajirao Mastani, Baby, NH10 and I can go on but I'm here to talk about the shite. Brothers, Singh is Bling, Welcome Back, Dilwale and possibly the worst of the worst, Prem Ratan Dhan Payo.
Brothers could've been great and I commended it for trying as Akshay Kumar for putting in a great performance but the same ending, a useless item song and Siddarth just wasn't able to put out that performance that Tom Hardy did. I will say this though that Jackie Shroff was a revelation as always. I won't bash this film that much but it could've been so much better. I also love the the films theme by Vishal Dadlani as it was pretty much the workout anthem of the year.
Singh is Bling was only made to capitalize of the Singh is King title and instead of bolstering it, it impaired it. Singh is King to me is a classic, as I said earlier, group ensemble films are great and Singh is King is a great example. Why was this made film made? Welcome Back is also in this category as it used the partnering of Majnu Bhai, Uday Bhai and Paresh Rawal's character. Im not blaming it on John Abraham alone but he just didn't have the same effect as Akshay did in the original.
Dilwale was very predictable, like it wasn't like other films where you could tell where the story is going but you could tell the next scene coming up. The legendary paring of SRK and Kajol was wasted but I will say this much, this film gave us Gerua, the only positive from it besides seeing Johnny Lever on the big screen again.
Prem Ratan Dhan Payo just shows how out of touch Sooraj R. Barjatya is with the current day film audience. Overacting from the entire cast and the only thing that had even given me some kind of reason to watch this film was Deepak Dobriyal and Neil Nithin Mukesh but even then, I like to think that they did this film for an easy paycheck.
2016, A Flying Jaat and Junooniyaat. that is all. I mean do I have to explain? Beat pe Booty? A generic villain and a waste of Kay Kay Menon. Junooniyaat was just a bad move for Yami Gautam as I have no faith in Pulkit at all, he's just a Salman Khan clone without the status that Salman has. Housefull 3 which I almost forgot about but I thought Housefull 3 was as bad as the Housefull franchise could have gotten. Befikre also just felt out of touch.
2017 is where the downfall began with Half Girlfriend, When Harry Met Sajal, Golmaal Again, Baadshaaho, Rangoon which just didn't feel like a Vishal Bhardwaj film, Simran which was disappointing from Hansal Mehta, Kapil Sharma's Firangi, Sarkar 3, Munna Michael, Judwaa 2, Raabta, Tubelight, Mubarakan. I mean this is where I thought, okay, we will hopefully not fall any further.
2018 hits, we get Thugs of Hindustan which paired Aamir Khan with Amitabh Bachchan and I mean like how do you mess that up? Race 3 which was just a circlejerk of Salman's ego, Bhaiya Ji Superhit. Faaney Khan or however you spell it, it doesn't deserve a spellcheck, Batti Gul Meter Chalu and the worst of the bucket, Namaste England. Zero I haven't seen yet but I was told the VFX work was amazing but its not worth the watch. Sanju was one I will defend as I know it does a lot of whitewashing but I am here to speak about what we saw on screen, not how accurate it is to what happened. Ranbir is a revelation to watch with Vicky Kaushal being a surprise, the films music is amazing but I understand that this film has a lot of whitewashing which is why some may include it on the worst films list.
2019: Kalank which was just awful, music and set designs were fantastic but that helped nobodies career. Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga which honestly would've been an amazing social film. SOTY 2 which is suppose to be a film about our college years but instead, I mean do I even have to make a point here? Marjaavan, Housefull 4, Pal Pal Dil Ke Pass, Drive and Dabaang 3. Vivek's Modi biopic, Total Dhamaal, Pagalpanti. Sahoo was a weird one but one I can say has some saving grace was Panipat. Like Indias Most Wanted, I continue to wonder who cast Arjun as a main lead. Sanjay Dutt was honestly another iconic performance and Kriti was grace to watch and honestly, its just a slow film but it could've been a lot better.
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Now for my questions;
What do you think was the worst film of the last decade?
The worst performance?
The worst directing?
The worst ending?
A surprisingly shit film?
A film that could've been better if the lead had been done by another actoactress?
A film that should've never been made and finally, worst on-screen pairing?
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Edit: I would also like to apolgize for any spelling errors as it is about 3:41 in the morning

Welcome to the first review megathread for Todd Phillips's Joker!
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31 (2016): So, as someone who has argued for Rob Zombie in the past, are we now at the point where every 3rd (4th?) film will hopefully give us boosters....what?... more “potentially good” moments? Or do we need to acknowledge that despite some nice day-glo/blacklight horror & charactedirecting bits in HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, and some atmospheric Kubrick/Argentoisms in LORDS OF SALEM (ignoring that terribly blown climax), he pretty much just peaked with THE DEVIL’S REJECTS and that’s that?
Zombie once again utilizes the skeleton of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974) to set up a film (1970’s young people run afoul of sadism and grotesques in the rural hinterlands seems to be a Zombie ur-text) - this is like some 70’s CHEERLEADERS film crossed with a 30’s pulp-horror scenario. A bus-traveling troupe of dope-smokin’, reprobate carney folk (including director’s wife Sherri-Moon Zombie, natch) are waylaid into a “Most Dangerous Game” scenario in which they must survive for 12 hours while being pursued by various “Heads” - psychopathic, costumed killers - through a crumbling industrial institution, for the entertainment of a wealthy, decadent, satanic elite. That’s all pretty much dispensed with in the first 25 minutes, and the rest of the film is what you’d expect: an excuse for crazy weirdos to threaten violence, rape, degradation and death while our barely developed set of characters fail or succeed at fighting them off, all set in smoky, gloomy, chain-hung boiler rooms straight out of some 90’s metal video - lots of “c’mon, motherfucker!” and “bring it on!” will be shouted, as you might expect. You get a Hispanic midget Nazi, chainsaw-wielding hick brothers and more, before the Cabal is forced to call in “Doom-Head” (Richard Brake - essentially playing an *even more extreme* - like we needed that - version of the Joker who is allowed to debauch, rape and kill) to finish the “game.”
Sometimes watching Rob Zombie movies I get the feeling that he’s settling some kind of inarticulate grudge he has with the audience and popular culture in general, a grudge no one but him understands. I mean everything here is intended to be *shocking*, obviously, but (Jane’s Addiction argument aside) how can he expect it to be so in a world that has already endured so many Rob Zombie movies, wherein pretty much the exact same things happen? Who is his projected audience? He obviously feels he has some Tarantinoesque skill at characters and dialogue, which is a dubious presumption at best (broad caricatures, titties and Blowfly humor do not a style make) and he still feels the need to have cretinous old men leering at his wife’s body in every movie, but this time around the few good bits (a title sequence that nicely sets the time period through visuals and music, a minor Ken Kesey Magic Bus resonance with the troupe, some well-chosen Wolfman Jack audio) don’t add up to much and starting with a Kafka quote is likely over-egging the expected sadistic pudding. The grease of his southern-fried exploitation shtick is cold & congealed by this point, because there’s nothing *more* there!
Honestly, even some detail about the cabal or perhaps bits showing (outside of Doom-Head) the other hired-killers living normal lives might have added something - hell, the Cabal is so perfunctory we never really see them enjoying the proceedings (the whole conceit of the concept), just gambling lethargically, and their “Satanic” aspect is only implied by one appearance of a pentagram. And that’s not to mention the soundtrack that (when not giving us the usual high-quality 70’s country rock) shamelessly rips off Carpenter’s THE FOG, or the terribly flat ending (Zombie seems to feel a clenched fist carries more narrative weight than it does for the audience), which is pretty much par for the Zombie course (outside of REJECTS - which, one could argue, had an ending that was inevitable and just needed good set-dressing and scoring). An incredibly rushed, creatively lazy film - save yourself the time and avoid.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3835080/

Date started: 13 March 2020
Release date: 9 February 1976
Viewing date: 18 March 2020
IMDb synopsis:

A mentally unstable veteran works as a nighttime taxi driver in New York City, where the perceived decadence and sleaze fuels his urge for violent action by attempting to liberate a presidential campaign worker and an underage prostitute.

IMDb rating: 8.3/10
I have finally gotten around to a modern classic. I originally planned to watch American Graffiti, but I couldn’t find it on any of my streaming platforms. Even the ones of the Ahoy! nature. What is not to say about Taxi Driver? I went into this movie with a light knowledge of it. I had of course seen the famous finger gun scene that takes place at the end of the movie, but had just been urged to see it myself.
This movie blew me away in many ways. I thought that I had an understanding of Scoresesee’ and his films but this one was very different. I have seen many of his films like The Departed and The Irishman, which I both loved, but seeing such a single character driven movie was refreshing. He takes a first person story and crafts and interesting tale of a troubled and problem ridden man who wants retribution. That man being of course, Travis Bickle. A Vietnam Vet who struggles with PTSD while working nights as a taxi driver. You get to see the dirt, the grime, the sleeze of New York City on display, all of it. Travis sees this first hand as he drives around prostitutes and men, and problem ridden people who spill it all to him.
In many ways he reads this almost like Rorschach, that these people are inherently bad and something has to be done. While Watchmen came much later, this idea of black and white justice is very clear in Taxi Driver. He has a relationship with a young girl named Iris (Jodie Foster) which shows to him that the world is a rotten apple. That this youthful young girl has been tainted by the dirty world he lives in. This drives him to eventually take action in the climax of the movie. Overall, his relationship with women is emblematic of a loner. One that has trouble communicating because how messed up he is inside his head. He takes the other female lead Betsy (Cybil Shepherd) on a date to a porno movie theatre and doesn’t even grasp the problem with it. Never mind that the girl only went on the date with him because kept calling her and urging her.
The music in this movie is so great and telling about the time period. It really sets the stage for the 1970s and the state that the American public was in. The country had been raped in a sense of its psyche, Vietnam, Watergate, Pentagon Papers, and a general mistrust and lost vision in society had set in. A lot of movies of the time show this.
As far as the Joker (2019) comparisons and inspirations, it is has become very clear to me. I was a big fan of Joker and after seeing Taxi Driver I can see how much inspiration is taken from this film. The character of Travis is a little more complex and open to interpretation than Joker. While both think that what they were doing was justified, Travis’ arc is a little less defined as far as events, most of the change is mental. Until he shaves the Mohawk, buys a .44 magnum, and tries to kill a presidential candidate. The green lens and filmmaking style used in both are very similar. I do however appreciate both and think they are both great films. As far as DeNiro is concerned, I think he is at his best here. I loved his work in The Deer Hunter, but he feels in a different element in this film.
Now the ending. In my opinion, the last few scenes had to be a dream. The letter he got from Iris’ parents and the heroism angle was too good to be real. Especially how refined he carries himself after snapping in such a manner. He readjusts himself back into life like this persona he has created has no effect on him. The best way to sum this movie would be to use a quote from the movie:
“You get a job. You become the job.”
Some other performances of note include:
Jodie Foster as Iris
Cybil Shepherd as Betsy
And
Harvey Keitel as Sport
Overall,
This movie is a classic that still holds water

• Great first person told story
• Exceptionally shot
• Good original music
• Dark and grounded telling of social disarray
• Memorable
• And a fantastic performance by Robert DeNiro

9.0/10

So i'm going to go on IMDB and look at each MCU movies behind the scenes facts and POST THE MOST INTERESTING ONES here, I will post each movie a day instead of what I did before where I did 10 posts, I will start with the first Iron Man and each day will be the next MCU movie after it, ending with Guardians 3, I will also do the Netflix Shows, Agents of Shield and Agent Carter

ANT-MAN

1. At first, the film was meant to focus on the original Ant-Man, Hank Pym. However, Pym developed several personalities, one of whom abused his girlfriend, and producers decided he was not family friendly. Instead, the focus shifted to Scott Lang, with Pym as a mentor and supporting character.
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2. When Paul Rudd told his nine-year-old son he was going to be Ant-Man, his son said, "Wow, I can't wait to see how stupid that'll be."
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3. The Falcon's role in the plot came about after Adam McKay and Paul Rudd went to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) and fell in love with the character. They casually suggested working him into the plot, and Kevin Feige informed them that it would actually make perfect sense since Falcon was now living at the New Avengers compound as of Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015).
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4. For the 1980s flashback scenes, de-aging VFX were used on the 70-year-old Michael Douglas and the 57-year-old Martin Donovan to make them appear younger, and aging VFX were combined with the wig and make-up 33-year old Hayley Atwell wore to make her appear older.
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5. Michael Douglas celebrated his 70th birthday on set. As an homage to his on-screen character and to celebrate the milestone, the crew presented him with a birthday cake decorated in icing with ants crawling over a film reel.
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6. Michael Douglas joked about his being made younger through CGI, saying he felt like doing a prequel to one of his younger films: "Seeing myself CGI-ed at the beginning of the movie thirty years younger was incredible! I had these little dots all over my face, and I'm looking at it and half way through the scene the picture it just appeared and there I was thirty years ago. Romancing the Stone (1984). I'm thinking I'm all for a prequel!"
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7. According to Michael Douglas, the costume for Paul Rudd had to be altered because of his muscles. Rudd had gone on an extensive training and workout regimen in order to build the proper muscle size for a superhero, but Rudd had become so muscular, they had to soften his costume up.
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8. While Edgar Wright was working on the film, he requested that Marvel refrain from using Ant-Man or Wasp until he had finished the movie, which is why they were absent from The Avengers (2012).
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9. In addition to getting in shape with the help of a trainer and weights, Paul Rudd worked with a gymnast. Rudd said of using a gymnast, "I knew I was going to have to do rolls and flips and things like that. I just wanted to be as convincing as possible."
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10. Posters for "Pingo Doce," the Brazilian soda company Bruce Banner worked for in The Incredible Hulk (2008), can be seen in the San Francisco scenes.
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11. The laser sounds fired from Yellowjacket's suit are the same sound as the main gun on an AT-AT being fired in the Star Wars movies.
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12. Michael Douglas explained why he took the role of Hank Pym, saying, "And most importantly, I did it for my children. They're so excited. I've finally got a picture that they are so excited about. Dad is cool. You have to understand, for most of my career, I've done so many R-rated pictures. They can never see any of my movies." *At the time of release of this film his children were 14 and 12\*
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13. (at around 46 mins) Scott Lang suggests calling the Avengers to assist. In the comics, Ant-Man was an original Avenger.
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14. Scott's brief work at Baskin-Robbins was originally going to be at Chipotle, but the company did not like their negative portrayal. The filmmakers considered Jamba Juice, then settled on Baskin-Robbins after realizing that the bright colors would be a funny contrast to the dark prison opening.
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15. Director Edgar Wright, a big fan of Ant-Man, proposed the film to Marvel in 2003, describing it as "an action-adventure comedy; a cross-genre action and special effects bonanza." He had been developing the movie since then, shooting a test reel and hiring the cast, and was close to begin shooting the movie. However, in 2014, he dropped out due to "creative differences" with Disney, which had bought out Marvel Studios five years prior.
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16. (at around 11 mins) Darren Cross jokes that the concept of a shrinking human sounds like a "tale to astonish." Ant-Man made his debut in the comic "Tales to Astonish" #27 (Jan. 1962). Darren Cross shrinks a chair as part of a demonstration; this was taken from the same comic, where the first thing Hank Pym shrank was a chair.
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17. (at around 32 mins) Garrett Morris, who portrays a cab driver in the film, appeared as Ant-Man in the Saturday Night Live: Margot KiddeThe Chieftains (1979) sketch, which was the first live-action appearance of the hero.
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18. Paul Rudd and stuntmen wore actual Ant-Man suits while Corey Stoll wore a motion-capture suit as Yellowjacket. This decision was made early on when creating and filming with a real Yellowjacket costume was found to be impractical.
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19. At the beginning of the film, set in 1989, the Triskelion is being constructed. The building was S.H.I.E.L.D's main quarters in Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014).
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20. The shrunken-down scenes feature a great deal of dust mites, which was a deliberate move by the VFX artists to emphasize an insect's point of view (they see the world in greater detail than a human does).
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21. Whilst filming a scene with Michael Douglas, Paul Rudd attempted to reenact the famous interrogation scene with Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct (1992). Rudd ultimately failed with the attempt, resulting in Michael Douglas saying "What are you? A f****** pervert?"
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22. The size-shifting VFX (the outlines left by the body on shrinking/growing) were taken from the original "Ant-Man" comics, and was influenced by stop-motion and multiple exposure shots.
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23. The VFX artists decided to incorporate techniques that would make this film different from other "shrinking" films and give an "experimental" look to the film. These techniques include macro photography (digital mattes of enlarged environments) and motion-capture. Trick photography was also employed: close-ups, aerial shots and long shots with wide lenses were the main techniques employed to get a good ambiance for Ant-Man in a giant environment.
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24. Edgar Wright wanted the film to be completely stand-alone, with no references to the other films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This plan did not match the studio plan for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This, among other factors, led to Wright leaving.
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25. Although Edgar Wright dropped out of the movie, a large portion of the script he wrote is still in the story.
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26. According to Evangeline Lilly, Hope's role was much smaller in Edgar Wright's drafts. It was beefed up significantly during rewrites, with Lilly providing some ideas and input.
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27. Paul Rudd worked on rewrites with Adam McKay. Michael Peña and Evangeline Lilly have said in interviews that many of the actors were consulted on their characters during the rewrite, which resulted in expanded roles.
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28. (at around 46 mins) When Scott Lang tells Pym that their first move should be calling the Avengers, Pym responds by saying that they're probably busy making a city fall from the sky. This is a direct reference to the events in Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015).
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29. On the day that they filmed the sequence of Cross shrinking a lamb, when they broke for lunch, the caterer just so happened to serve lamb chops. The cast and crew claimed it was an awkward meal.
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30. The Yellowjacket armor is based on the G.I. Ant-Man armor from the "Irredeemable Ant-Man" comic. The suit's helmet also incorporates the facial features of Hank Pym's villainous robot Ultron.
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31. When the role of Wasp (Hank Pym's lover and wife) was in the script, Rashida Jones and Emma Stone were considered for the part.
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32. Paul Rudd and Adam McKay convinced Bobby Cannavale to do the film. Cannavale said, "They both called me and said, 'You've got to do this.' They called me before Marvel called." Cannavale felt that the big budget film's atmosphere felt more like an independent film, as he was able to improvise a lot with his fellow cast members.
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33. The preview for the first teaser was ant-sized... Which is to say that it's almost completely impossible to tell what's going on in it. A human-sized trailer went up the next day.
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34. According to the filmmakers, the main theme in this film is "passing the torch."
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35. Corey Stoll describes his character of Darren Cross as a shadowy version of Hank Pym: "Cross is a guy who is not that dissimilar from Michael Douglas' character Hank Pym. A brilliant scientist, who is not ethically pure. The great thing about the whole movie is that everybody is in those shades of grey."
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36. A sequence was filmed where Pym and Lang discuss the Ant-Man name. Lines from this exchange include "Lame, I know," "Iron Man was taken," and "Is it too late to change the name?" (Interestingly, Pym did adopt other monikers in the comics, including Ant-Man, Giant-Man, Goliath, Yellowjacket and Wasp.) These lines were featured in trailers and TV spots, but not the finished film.
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37. The idea of a potential Ant-Man movie had been kicked around before Marvel had its own movie studio. Once the Marvel Cinematic Universe was founded, there were plans to include him in the Phase One films and be a member of the Avengers. Those plans fell through and he was supposed to have a film in Phase Two instead. The movie was then pushed back to becoming the first part of Phase Three, until it was decided that this movie would actually be the finale of Phase Two, after Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), and that Captain America: Civil War (2016) would lead Phase Three. In short, its release date didn't change so much as its classification.
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38. Peyton Reed is a huge Marvel fan and seized the opportunity to direct a film in the MCU even if it meant stepping in at the last minute to take over a project previously helmed by Edgar Wright.
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39. In the comics, Hank Pym's daughter Hope Pym (here she takes her mother's maiden name of Van Dyne) was a villainous character who acted out of resentment against her father. While that angle is present in this film, she is much more heroic and reasonable here.
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40. Simon Pegg described Edgar Wright's script as 'daring, fun, funny and hugely exciting.'
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41. In the comics, Hank Pym created Ultron. This movie is the next Marvel movie released after Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015).
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42. Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan and Gary Oldman were considered for the role of Hank Pym.
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43. (at around 1h 45 mins) In the last scene of the film when Luis is telling Scott about a tip, the girl talking to the Sam Wilson/Falcon says, ''We got a guy who jumps, we got a guy who swings, we got a guy who crawls up the wall''. This is in direct reference to Spider-Man who made his debut in the MCU in Captain America: Civil War (2016).
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44. Scott lives at the Milgrom Hotel. This was named after comic-book artist Al Milgrom.
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45. During an interview with the film's star Paul Rudd on The Howard Stern Show (1990), Stern told Rudd he had tried - 15 years prior to the release of Ant-Man - to buy the rights from Marvel in hopes to translate it to the big screen.
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46. Luis, played by Michael Peña, was based on a real friend of Peña, Pablo, who is a minor criminal and talks just as rapidly as Luis does.
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47. Jessica Chastain turned down the lead female role of Hope van Dyne due to scheduling conflicts. She had previously bowed out of the role of Maya Hansen in Iron Man 3 (2013) for the same reason.
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48. The first production to film in the sound stages at the new Pinewood Atlanta Studios. With the exception of Doctor Strange (2016), all of Marvel Studios' subsequent productions have been filmed entirely or in part at Pinewood.
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49. While promoting Baby Driver (2017), Edgar Wright said he never watched the finished film, saying "It would kind of be like asking me, 'Do you want to watch your ex-girlfriend have sex?'"
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50. Edgar Wright was responsible for casting Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, David Dasmalchian and Michael Pena.
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51. (at around 1h 14 mins) When Luis is posing as a guard, he whistles "It's a Small World". Not only is Ant-Man small, which makes the song appropriate, but the song is originally from a ride (Small World) at Disneyland, which, like Marvel Studios, is owned by The Walt Disney Company.
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52. Paul Rudd is the second Parks and Recreation (2009) cast member to be cast as a main lead in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, after Chris Pratt as Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy (2014).
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53. Patrick Wilson was cast as Paxton. But after the movie was delayed, scheduling conflicts forced Wilson to drop out and Bobby Cannavale took the role. Wilson subsequently went onto appear on the DC Extended Universe's superhero films by voicing a role the following year as the President of the United States in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) and co-starring in Aquaman.
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54. (at around 1h 40 mins) If you watch closely as Scott shrinks towards the Microverse, you'll see a tardigrade on the right lower portion of the screen.
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55. Adrien Brody, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Ewan McGregor were all in the running for the role of Scott Lang.
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56. Most of Ant-Man's action scenes were shot normally with VFX around him. The exception was the fight with Falcon: Anthony Mackie had to mime the actions of getting beaten by Ant-Man.
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57. Michael Peña was actually stumbling over his words during the "telephone game" sequence.
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58. Edgar Wright himself selected Paul Rudd for the role of Scott Lang based on his natural charisma, which would make Scott likable despite being a criminal in-story.
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59. Peyton Reed revealed that Andrew Barrer and Gabriel Ferrari were also writers of the movie and but had to remain uncredited due to the Writers Guild. Dave Callaham also did a rewrite before filming.
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60. Edgar Wright's drafts did not include the Wasp, save for a mention from Pym.
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61. Marvel executive producer Victoria Alonso exclaimed one morning during filming, "You'll never believe it! I found an ant in my bathtub, and I saved it! I was talking to it!"
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62. The building that was used for the Pym Technologies exterior set stored records for the city of Atlanta and was also used as the news studio in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004), which also starred Paul Rudd.
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63. Atoms consist of mostly empty space, as proven by Ernest Rutherford in his gold foil experiment. Therefore it is theoretically possible to shrink or expand material, although the means to do so are far beyond present day technology.
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64. The director of this film, Peyton Reed, was considered to direct Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), another Marvel Studios film, which was later directed by James Gunn. Reed was also attached at one point, to direct Fantastic Four (2005), a film adaptation based on another Marvel property, that was released by 20th Century Fox.
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65. After this film was released, Hope Pym was introduced into the Marvel Comics as Nadia Pym ("nadia" is Russian for "hope"), daughter of Hank Pym and a Hungarian scientist.
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66. Jordan Peele was originally cast when Edgar Wright was still director.
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67. Editor Dan Lebental said that despite Edgar Wright's departure and Peyton Reed joining the project, the studio still held onto the original release date. This meant that the film's post-production team lost 10 weeks of time in the process to complete the film. Lebental said that it certainly accelerated the workload on the editing, sound, visual effects and 3D rendering teams with their team doing the final mixing sound before some of the hundreds of visual effects shots even arrived for them. Lebental said that this is a norm in the business but this was an extreme situation, given Wright's departure and Reed joining.
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68. Mary Elizabeth Winstead wanted to play The Wasp.
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69. In Edgar Wright's drafts, Darren Cross's alter ego would have been Nano Warrior, instead of Yellowjacket. The drafts also featured a car chase sequence.
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70. Peyton Reed originally wanted Rick Moranis who's known for portraying Wayne Szalinski in the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids films in the film for a cameo.
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71. Edgar Wright has said, that despite working on "Ant-Man" for a decade, and leaving the project on his own terms, he cannot bring himself to watch the finished product.
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72. Adam McKay, Ruben Fleischer, Rawson Marshall Thurber, Nicholas Stoller, Michael Dowseand David Wain were considered to direct the film.
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73. (at around 3 mins) Writers Andrew Barrer and Gabriel Ferrari appear briefly in the film, as two prisoners during Scott Lang's escape from the jailhouse. Barrer's father also appears in the film (at around 18 mins), standing at the bar during the Hope/Cross dinner scene.
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74. Hank Pym, Scott Lang and Clint Barton are the only superheroes in the MCU to have offspring (as well as Frank Castle in The Punisher). Hank and Scott are also the only heros to lose their wives (Janet Van Dyne apparently died at the Quantum Realm and Maggie divorced Scott). Coincidentally, Hank Pym, Scott Lang, and Clint Barton have all used Pym particles in the comics.
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75. David Wain was considered to direct after Edgar Wright left the project.
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76. Ant-Man is implied to have the ability to manipulate his weight and mass to be light and heavy whenever he wishes. This came from the DC Comics hero the Atom, who serves as Ant-Man's counterpart: both are heroes with shrinking abilities, and both started out as scientists who passed their titles down to others.
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77. Patrick Wilson was cast as William Crossnote, but he left the project after Edgar Wright's departure, citing a scheduling conflict.
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78. Michael Douglas was later considered for the role of Doc in Baby Driver (2017), Edgar Wright's next film after dropping out of this project. Kevin Spacey was ultimately cast.
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79. This is the second super hero movie for actor David Dastmalchian. He previously appeared in The Dark Knight (2008) in a minor role as one of Joker's henchmen.
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80. John Slattery and Anthony Mackie have appeared in other Marvel movies but have never shared any screen time. In another film The Adjustment Bureau (2011) they both appear onscreen at the same time.
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81. This is the second time that a film from the MCU was released in theaters in July since Captain America: The First Avenger (2011).
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82. The plot has similarities to both The Mask of Zorro (1998) and Batman Beyond (1999) - an older hero trains a thief to be his replacement and settle an old score.
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83. David Dasmalchian said getting cast in this film couldn't have come at a better time, given that his wife was pregnant with their first child and they only had $400 in the bank. Dasmalchian initially feared that his casting was in jeopardy when Edgar Wright departed the project as Wright had personally emailed the actor. But the fear came to pass as new director Peyton Reed was a fan of the actor after his work in The Dark Knight and Passengers.
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84. Edgar Wright's draft had the X-Con security team with approximately 6 or 7 members as opposed to the three in the finished film. Janet Van Dyne was also absent from the story.
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85. CAMEO: Stan Lee: (at around 1h 45 mins) the bartender who says a woman looks "crazy stupid fine."
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86. According to Peyton Reed when it came to using Thomas the Tank Engine during the battle sequence on Cassie's train set, there were certain stipulations when it came to showing the character. Reed and the team met with the rights holders of Thomas and had to make a presentation. The owners stipulated that Thomas couldn't be depicted as doing anything evil, had to remain neutral and no character could be tied to a train track that Thomas was going to be on, as the owners were very protective. Reed was happy with using Thomas as it helped add to the personality of the film, and that the owners found the use of Thomas funny in the film.
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87. Hank Pym wants Scott to use the Ant-Man technology to pull off a heist. In the comics, Lang stole the Ant-Man suit from Pym in hopes of pulling off enough heists to save his sick daughter; when Pym found out, he allowed him to keep the suit as long as he used it for heroic purposes.
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88. Cassie Lang is delighted at her father's superhero career, even adopting an ant as a pet. In the comics Scott's daughter Cassie eventually dons the Ant-Man costume herself to become the heroine Giant-Girl (later Stature).
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89. Yellowjacket in this film is a combination of Ant-Man villains Yellowjacket (a mentally unstable alter ego of Pym), Darren Cross (a villainous businessman and enemy of Scott Lang) and Eric O'Grady (an amoral and selfish person with Pym tech who also was the fourth Ant-Man).
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90. Janet van Dyne (Wasp) ends up shrinking herself into a microscopic dimension and was presumed dead. This was her fate in the Marvel comic "Secret Invasion".
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91. (at around 5 mins) Scott's Baskin-Robbins name tag says "Jack" which is understandable considering he was hiding the fact he was just released from prison. He then asks his co-worker "Darby" to take over at the register while he speaks to the manager. Jack and Darby are The names of Paul Rudd's children in real life.
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92. The ending was supposed to have a showdown between Ant-Man and Carson, with Ant-Man defeating him and reclaiming the stolen sample of Pym Particles. The ending was changed to Carson escaping and presumably delivering the sample to HYDRA in order to set up Captain America: Civil War (2016).
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93. (at around 13 mins) When Cross brings the Hydra agents into the room where the Yellowjacket suit is stored, one of them has part of a tattoo showing above his collar. It is the symbol of the "Ten Rings" terrorist group that kidnapped Tony Stark in the first Iron Man (2008) film.
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94. (at around 18 mins) When Cross shrinks a board member and implodes him into a tiny blob, strawberry jam was used for the blob.
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95. Another ending was filmed that is closure-related. In it Scott Lang tracks down and confronts Mitchell, who knew that Carson took the Pym Particles sample during the confrontation at the lab. It was filmed as a measure of ambiguity in the event it was needed. The producers eventually decided to leave it out as a future plot point in either of another tie-in or in the sequel.
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96. When Scott is shrinking to microscopic size he appears to shrink into a forest. This could allude to the Microverse. In Marvel comics its a whole world on subatomic level.
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97. Scott is able to enlarge some items in size during the film, including himself. This is a homage to Giant-Man, in the comics Hank Pym's superhero title due to him relying more on growing to gigantic size rather than shrinking.
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98. The original opening that Edgar Wright wrote was to have a mini-adventure (in homage of Goldfinger (1964)) that the young Hank Pym would infiltrate Panama to retrieve a microfilm and confronted a Panamanian general by the name of Castillo. Jordi Mollà had filmed his scenes as Castillo but was cut. Peyton Reed admitted that while the standalone adventure was really cool, although filmed, it was disconnected after it was edited together. Reed eventually settled for the existing prologue which bookmarks the confrontation with Mitchell and Hank later on.
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99. All the movie (closing film of Phase Two in the Marvel Cinematic Universe) shares many similarities with Iron Man (2008) (first film of Phase One in the Marvel Cinematic Universe):

-A revolutionary and technologically advanced crime-fighting suit is replicated (and modified to be more lethal), by a former friend/partner of the suit's inventor, who has ambitions to sell the technology to people with nefarious purposes, expressly against the wishes of the inventor.
-In an effort to protect this from happening, and protect someone he loves, the hero must use the suit beyond its expected capabilities to defeat the villain, resulting in the villain's death as his own suit is destroyed.
-The hero is endangered by the technology he uses (Obadiah extracts from Tony Stark's breast the mechanism that prevents the shrapnel inside his blood from arriving at his heart to kill him, and Scott Lang uses the special system of the suit to defeat Cross, reducing his size to enter in the Quantum Realm).
-The hero trains to use the suit with comic results (Tony Stark crashes sometimes while he constructs the first armor, and Scott Lang increases his size before the right time, crashing against the ground).
-A woman turns into the assistant of the hero (Pepper Potts for Tony Stark, and Hope Pym for Scott Lang).
-Love interest between the hero and his assistant (Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, Scott Lang and Hope Pym).
-Both movies also end with the implication that the heroes' actions have earned them consideration for joining the Avengers.
-The main villain of the movie is bald (Obadiah Stane in Iron Man, Darren Cross in Ant-Man).
-The villain dies by the suit he creates (Stark collapses Stane's armor, who falls to crash against the Arc Reactor of the laboratory, and Lang collapses Cross's armor, who vanishes in the Quantum Realm).
-Presentation of a hero for a sequel (War Machine in Iron Man, The Wasp in Ant-Man).

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100. The climax, when Scott shrinks to sub-atomic levels and enters the quantum realm, is a tribute to the Disneyland attraction, Adventure Thru Inner Space. Open from 1967 through 1985, the attraction shrunk guests as they got smaller till they became the size of an atom. Hank warns Scott by saying, "It means that you would enter a reality where all concepts of time and space become irrelevant as you shrink for all eternity." This same quote is repeated when Scott is in the quantum realm, though it echoes, similar to the Paul Frees quote from the attraction, "They will be our only source of contact once you have passed beyond the limits of normal Mag-ni-fi-ca-tion"

Welcome back to my Overwatch lore series! In this thread I will cover lore on Jamison Fawkes a.k.a Junkrat, one of Overwatch’s Damage characters and a Ranged Assassin in Heroes of the Storm. It’s a perfect day for some mayhem!
 
Previous lore threads here
 

Life and history as we know it

A briefing on the history of the Omnic Crisis here. At the end of the Omnic Crisis, humanity won the war against the omnics. The Australian government decided to make a decision that many of its citizens did not agree with: to gift the omnium, and the land around it – which constituted a large area of the Outback – to the omnics, hoping to establish a long-term peace accord between humans and omnics. This action led to many Australians – survivalists, farmers, people that otherwise just wanted to be left alone - being forced out of their own homes, as the omnics claimed the land they lived on as theirs following the decree of the government. Enraged over the loss of their own home, the displaced Australians turned to violence. A fighter group named the Australian Liberation Front – of which Roadhog/Mako Rutledge was a member – was formed to fight the omnics and take back the land. Tensions between humans and omnics intensified. Everything came to a head when the ALF rebels sabotaged the fusion reactor core of the omnium. A massive explosion resulted from the omnium, destroying the facility and irradiated the entire Outback with radiation. The nuclear fallout eventually consumed the land, turning it into an apocalyptic wasteland that twisted its residents into something else… far from their former humanity. Jamison Fawkes was born twenty-five years ago in the wastelands of the Outback. He was part of a group called the Junkers – Australians still living in the Outback following that fateful day, having scavenged the omnium and the metals littered in the land after the explosion to create a lawless cutthroat society. The lingering radiation from the explosion affected him like many others; Jamison’s touch of madness developed into an obsession with explosive materials, which when combined with his daily life as a Junker reclaiming metal scrap and other items of value from the ruins of the omnium, makes him an extremely talented bombmaker and weaponsmith. Jamison’s life changed the day he discovered an extremely valuable secret within the ruins of the omnium. He became a target of bounty hunters, gangs and other enemies wherever he went, even though few knew the true nature of said secret. Out of desperation, he made a deal with the Junker enforcer known as Roadhog; Mako gets half of the share in exchange for protecting Jamison’s life. With his new bodyguard in tow, Jamison took on the name of Junkrat, left the Outback and embarked on a new career as an international criminal. Some of their notable crime sprees included stealing royal artifacts in King’s Row, Britain; destroying shops and trucks in Paris, France; robbing the arcade in Hanamura, Japan; and stealing gold from the Bank of Dorado, Mexico.
 
Going Legit Junkrat and Roadhog were hired by the CEO of Hyde Global in Sydney for a job of rescuing his workers, having been taken hostage by omnic terrorists. The job turned out to be the CEO trying to frame the pair for terrorism to commit insurance fraud on the workers, and they ended up hanging the CEO upside down outside his office before blowing it up as revenge. Read Going Legit here.
 
Reflections Junkrat was seen causing trouble in Luna Park, Australia with Roadhog on Christmas. Read Reflections here.
 
Junkertown: The Plan Junkertown, as its name implies, is where the Junkers society reside in the Outback – reigned over by a Queen. Prior to the events of the short, Junkrat and Roadhog were exiled from Junkertown under orders from the Queen – and Junkrat decided to come up with a plan to get back into his old home… one involving treasures. And explosives. Watch Junkertown: The Plan here.
 
Wasted Land This comic depicts Roadhog's brief history before he left Junkertown, and how Junkrat made a deal with him by agreeing to give him half of his earnings. Read Wasted Land here.
 

Abilities

Junkrat’s kit had very little change from Overwatch to Heroes of the Storm, with the majority of functionalities remaining intact between the two games. He is also one of the few heroes in the game that does not use any resources other than cooldowns to govern his abilities. D: Total Mayhem: Junkrat can use his trait to detonate an armed Concussion Mine, and when he dies multiple live grenades are dropped at his death location, similar to its Overwatch incarnation. His auto attacks also deal splash damage, though not to the same extent as his Q. Q: Frag Launcher: This is essentially his normal attacks in Overwatch - Junkrat fires grenades from his homemade launcher that bounce off terrain and explode when coming into contact with an enemy, or after some time on the ground. It has a 4 charges clip that replenishes all at once. W: Concussion Mine: Junkrat throws a mine on the ground that, when activated, knocks all units in its radius away from the location and deals damage to enemies. The farther the unit is to the center of the mine, the farther they will be knocked back. Junkrat can use this ability to travel around the map much like in Overwatch, and the talent Ripper Air at 13 greatly enhances this use. Junkrat is limited to one active mine at a time, unlike the Overwatch version which gives him two mines. E: Steel Trap: Junkrat throws a bear trap on the ground that takes 2 seconds to arm. The first enemy walking into the trap will take damage and be rooted for 2 seconds. The arming time is the most significant change from its Overwatch incarnation. R1: RIP-Tire: Taken from Overwatch, Junkrat launches a motorized tire with explosives and becoming immobile as he channels the tire’s movements. When the ability is reactivated, Junkrat detonates the tire to deal damage to enemies and knock them back in a radius. The tire can be destroyed, but unlike the Overwatch version will not detonate if 1) the timer expires; 2) Junkrat is silenced, stunned, slept, or killed while channeling. R2: Rocket Ride: A new Heroes of the Storm exclusive, Junkrat mounts a rocket and launches himself into the air, becoming immune to all damage. He can steer his path in the air, and after 3.5 seconds crashes the rocket into the designated area, leaving behind grenades from Total Mayhem. After 5 seconds Junkrat respawns - note that this is not an usual respawn, as Rocket Ride “deaths” do not count as a kill or grant experience to the enemy team - at the Hall of Storms, mounted on a rocket that has 150% movement speed and lasts until Junkrat dismounts. This heroic is yet another of Junkrat’s craziness given form, because crashing a rocket straight into the enemy’s face (with bonus grenades) is just that awesome.
 

Talents

L1: Put Some English On It: A popular slang in ball games like baseball, meaning “to give said ball a curve in the air”. L4: Bonzer Hits: Bonzer is an Australian slang word, meaning “excellent”. Gotta Trap ‘Em All: Based on the popular Pokémon motto “Gotta catch ‘em all!”. L7: Sticky Wicket: A slang for “difficult circumstances”. L13: Ripper Air: Might be a reference to the surfboard of the same name, or a joke on how some airlines are named “ Air” (for an example, see a list of the world’s flag carriers.) Chattering Teeth: This. If you take this talent, Steel Trap will act like a chattering teeth while chasing after heroes! L20: Puckish Scamp: Puckish means “impish, whimsical”, while scamp means “funny misbehaving child”. Put the two together and you got a definition of Junkrat.
 

Interactions

Arthas: ”Is it cold in here, or is it just you?” / “Brr… I felt cold just lookin’ at ya.” Junkrat hails from Australian Outback, which is hot all year around in the Overwatch incarnation due to the omnium explosion destroying the area; Arthas, as the Lich King and a Death Knight, commands the power of the Northrend frost. ETC: ”Anyone want some barbecue? (laughs)” Likely a joke at the fact that ETC is a bull. (beef barbecue, anyone?) Gazlowe: ”This explodium stuff is right fantastic, mate! Can’t wait to see it in action.” / “Great, thanks for asking! Huge fan of your work, by the way.” Gazlowe and Junkrat shares two obsessions: Explosives and money. The Alterac Pass update even introduced a goblin sapper skin for Junkrat! Greymane: ”So I have to ask… (snickers) dingo got your baby?” A dingo is a type of feral dog native to Australia. The phrase "dingo got your baby?" is a popular phrase that has origins in Australia about the death of a baby girl and popularized by Meryl Streep's portrayal in A Cry in the Dark (1988). Also a joke at Greymane being a wolf, which is also a type of feral dog. Doctor Wolf and Stein Greymane: ”Hey, th’s my outfit! I’m the one who steals stuff around here!” / “Speaking of which, you don’t have a monster with you. OH, because you’re the monster! I get it!” A reference to the Doctor Junkenstein skin in Overwatch, which also draws inspiration from Frankenstein. Doctor Junkenstein has Roadhog as his monster, while Greymane’s worgen form is his own monster. Leoric: ”Heard you’re missing a shinbone. Me too, mate!” Leoric’s Shinbone is a crafting ingredient for the key to Whimsyshire. Junkrat is missing one leg (and by extension, a shinbone) due to an explosive accident and now walks with a peg leg. Overwatch heroes: ”Oh great, it’s the fuzz.” The fuzz is slang for the police, referring to Overwatch as a global peacekeeping force. “Any chance Overwatch can get me off some most wanted lists? No? Had to ask!” After Junkrat was exiled from Junkertown, he went on an international crime spree: robberies, arson, murder… Both him and Roadhog ended up on multiple most wanted lists, with bounties as high as 25 million. Stitches: ”You hook ‘em, I’ll cook em!” / “Why, yes I am! Nice to be appreciated.” Stitches has a hook pull similar to Roadhog, and Mako is not the most vocal about affections… or anything, really. Tracer: ”Think I could have a look at one of those pulse bombs of yours?” / “Cheers mate, the cavalry’s here!” Junkrat is just as obsessed with Tracer’s pulse bombs here as he was in Overwatch. He also stole her signature line… just because. Zarya: ”If I had a Ph.D, they’d call me Dr. Boom!” A reference to this card in Hearthstone. Generic positive: ”Why so serious?” From Batman’s The Joker, and also Junkrat’s elimination line for Reaper in Overwatch. ”What a bunch of misfits and freaks we got here. Oh, I love it!” One of his pre-battle lines in Overwatch. ”Let the games begin!” Coincidentally also Medivh’s lock-in line. ”Junkrat, primed and ready!” Announced when someone in your team swaps to Junkrat in Overwatch. ”I can always count on you, mate!” Used for complimenting an allied Roadhog in Overwatch. Generic negative: ”Try not to get us killed out there.” Also an interaction with Roadhog in Overwatch. ”Out of my face, ya drongo!” Drongo is a type of bird, and is also an Australian slang for idiot. ”You what mate?” Probably more popular to most internet users as “u wot m8?”
 

Takedown quotes

ETC: ”Talking cow. Right. Think I’ll off the boba for a bit.” The flask on Junkrat’s hip actually has boba milk tea, also known as bubble tea. Junkrat is acting like his drink was actually alcoholic and thought that he’s drunk because he met a talking cow (he definitely hasn’t met Winston in canon, then. Also bubble tea is delicious, 6.5/10 would recommend). Genji: ”Turns out you actually *did** need healing that time. Huh.”* Best summarized with: “Where’s the “I need healing” button?” –Gaku Space Generic: ”(spits) Aiming’s overrated.” Used for Concussion Mine kills in Overwatch. ”Now that was beautiful.” / ”Brings a tear to my eye.” / “Hey, where’d ya go?” Also generic takedown quotes in Overwatch. ”I love my job!” Used for RIP-Tire kills in Overwatch.
 

Poke quotes

”Looks like Junkrat’s blasting off again!” A reference to Team Rocket from Pokémon. ”Look out! It’s a trap! (triggers trap) Told ya!” A reference to Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars. Is also the “under attack” line of the Battlecruiser from StarCraft II. ”Ever notice how every place in the world smells like burnt hair? What? It’s just me then?” To be fair his hair is always on fire… ”Dang! Anyone got a new tire? Mine’s got a RIP in it. (laughs) Oh, I’m precious.” Well, if it isn’t punpolice coming my way… Also an incredibly lame pun based on his heroic. ”(singing) Where, oh where has my pal Roadhog gone? Oh where, oh where can he be?” A play on the children’s song “Oh where has my little dog gone”. Roadhog is Junkrat’s bodyguard, and he is always seen with Junkrat in canon materials. Not in Heroes of the Storm, though – Stitches will have to do. ”These bombs aren’t cheap, you know. They cost an arm and a leg! (laughs) I’m joking. They only cost me a leg.” An arm and a leg is a slang for very expensive things. Junkrat also happens to be missing an arm and a leg – literally – due to explosives. ”This is some thirsty work! (clanking noises) Hold on a sec. (chugs) Ahh. Delicious milk tea with boba.” Jeff Kaplan stated that Junkrat’s hip flask contains “milk tea with boba, half sweet”.
 

Commands

Move: ”Too right.” One of his voice lines in Overwatch. Attack: ”Pop goes the weasel.” Reference to an old English nursery rhyme. Concussion Mine: ”Baby, I’m a firework!” “Baby I’m a firework… Come on make your colors burst…”
 

Miscellaneous

Lock-in: ”It’s a perfect day for some mayhem!” This is Junkrat’s quote when he spawns in Overwatch. Respawn: ”If at first you don’t succeed, blow it up again!” / “Well, that’s a fine how-do-you-do!” / “Hooley dooley.” / “Takes a lickin’, keeps on tickin’!” All of these are his respawn quotes in Overwatch. Resurrected: ”Oh! I owe you one!” Also his quote in Overwatch when revived by a friendly Mercy. Taunt: ”Don’t you come the raw prawn with me!” An Australian slang for “don’t try to put one over me.” Also might be a reference to Junkrat’s dislike of shrimp.
 

Skins

Clowning Junkrat: The color scheme of this skin brings to mind The Joker. Fallen Junkrat: The junkrats are the most scarcely seen of the fallen family of demons. Capricious and suspicious to a fault, they prefer to live amongst the ruined war-machines that litter Pandemonium where they scourge for resources. Basically the Junkers, if they are in Diablo’s Sanctuary as demons instead of Overwatch. Sapper Junkrat: The mischievous Goblin Sappers are known throughout the Horde for their incredible aptitude for destruction. Despite their short life expectancy, some sappers like Jammi Foxxleson even became goblin engineers. In Warcraft III, goblin sappers are small mercenary units that attack by detonating the barrels of gunpowder they carry, destroying both their enemies and themselves in an explosion. Sapper Junkrat is a case where a sapper lived long enough to be promoted to a goblin engineer in charge of weaponmaking, rather than being suicide bomber units.
 

Music

Junkrat’s home screen music is a metal remix of the Junkertown theme in Overwatch.
 
Thank you for reading!

Period: 29.70 days

	Submissions	Comments
Total	216	307
Rate (per day)	7.27	10.35
Unique Redditors	79	193
Combined Score	4639	1121

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1. 563 points, 14 submissions: KevSaund
   
   1. Lisa’s protest song, “They have the plant, but we have the power” (127 points, 8 comments)
   2. Häxan is a 1922 documentary about the history of witchcraft, but with reenactments of satanic rituals and depictions of devils, it is considered to be one of the earliest horror movies (75 points, 3 comments)
   3. After learning a solo performance by Mike Daisy that was aired as an episode was full of falsehoods, This American Life issued its first Retraction as an episode (64 points, 2 comments)
   4. 12 Oversized Facts about JNCO Jeans (61 points, 0 comments)
   5. A joke for Smoke Alarm People told by Bruce Willis (with Elijah Wood in the audience) (61 points, 9 comments)
   6. The Plunge for DIstance was considered to be the most boring Olympic event, often called Competitive Floating (55 points, 0 comments)
   7. The science behind different kinds of fake nails (48 points, 1 comment)
   8. Train 48 - A daily soap opera confined to a single train car. It filmed and aired on the same day, allowing for commentary on current events (46 points, 4 comments)
   9. Ayds was an “appetite suppressant candy” with movie star spokespeople, until the 80s when AIDS became well known. The candy never recovered. (11 points, 0 comments)
   10. PuppeTose Theater is the weirdest (NSFW) low budget puppet show you’ve never seen (5 points, 0 comments)
2. 367 points, 14 submissions: sbroue
   
   1. Situationist Graffiti 1970 (97 points, 5 comments)
   2. Bald Squad on the case (88 points, 0 comments)
   3. 3000 year old trousers discovered in Chinese grave oldest ever found (2014) (77 points, 2 comments)
   4. The Dwarf Elephant Of Malta; Origin Of The Cyclops Myth? (49 points, 1 comment)
   5. Goofspiel - A Card game of pure Strategy (16 points, 0 comments)
   6. Archie Bunker Meets Sammy Davis Jr (Feb 1972) (12 points, 1 comment)
   7. The Wiz:Trailer - Michael Jackson adapts Wizard of Oz (1978) (11 points, 1 comment)
   8. Revolution: A-Z Quotes (5 points, 0 comments)
   9. 1988 BEATLES "Revolution" ad for NIKE (3 points, 1 comment)
   10. The Triffids - Red Pony (1983) (3 points, 1 comment)
3. 304 points, 14 submissions: 0and18
   
   1. Rat King Tangles (118 points, 8 comments)
   2. The Truth About the McDonald's Coffee Lawsuit | Adam Ruins Everything (61 points, 8 comments)
   3. The doomsday vault: the seeds that could save a post-apocalyptic world (33 points, 4 comments)
   4. Insect Overlords (Giant Space Ants) (32 points, 3 comments)
   5. Scene Missing (22 points, 0 comments)
   6. Kraven the Hunter is pretty scary and unhinged in the 1987 “Kraven’s Last Hunt” storyline (10 points, 0 comments)
   7. September 10 - Tangles (7 points, 0 comments)
   8. September 21 - Rebuilding Society; Post-Apocalyptic and Otherwise (6 points, 0 comments)
   9. September 14 - Nail Polish (5 points, 0 comments)
   10. Les Suetes winds of Cape Breton, Nova Scotia (3 points, 0 comments)
4. 252 points, 12 submissions: Superbuddhapunk
   
   1. Most popular sandwiches in the world with recipe infographics (65 points, 13 comments)
   2. AMERICA F*#K YEAH! MUSIC VIDEO - Team America World Police THEME SONG (55 points, 0 comments)
   3. Santa Ana Winds In Inland Empire Cause Mounting Wildfire Concerns (40 points, 7 comments)
   4. the watson twins - just like heaven (23 points, 1 comment)
   5. What is a chinook? | Ask Our Meteorologist (18 points, 1 comment)
   6. Being John Malkovich — Puppet Scene (16 points, 1 comment)
   7. Marseille - Le Mistral (13 points, 0 comments)
   8. How a Philly Cheesesteak Goes From the Grill to Carnegie Hall (6 points, 0 comments)
   9. The Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour - Papa Karlson's Feetza Pizza (6 points, 1 comment)
   10. My Provence - Mistral Wind of Wrath (4 points, 0 comments)
5. 185 points, 8 submissions: joelschlosberg
   
   1. Illiteracy! (106 points, 1 comment)
   2. Progress Quest, an RPG in which the player's character moves through the game collecting items, learning spells, conquering enemies, and leveling up experience points without any player involvement after the character is created. (36 points, 1 comment)
   3. "Alanis: Too Hot!": a half-hour documentary produced by a local Ottawa TV station about Alanis Morissette, back when the singer was a teenager known as the Canadian equivalent of Debbie Gibson or Tiffany. (18 points, 3 comments)
   4. Canuxploitation.com has reviewed hundreds of Canadian B-movies. (7 points, 0 comments)
   5. Canadian animator Caroline Leaf's The Street, in which the emotional turmoil of a grandmother dying is conveyed by a constantly swirling painting, created by moving wet paint on top of a glass lit from underneath. (6 points, 1 comment)
   6. Recruits, which is apparently somewhat similar to a popular American comedy of the time about an educational institution for law enforcement officers. (5 points, 1 comment)
   7. nonrepresentational governance (5 points, 0 comments)
   8. "Sandwiches That You Will Like" (2 points, 0 comments)
6. 147 points, 7 submissions: galloog1
   
   1. Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog from The Muppet Movie (87 points, 9 comments)
   2. People don't think of Appalachia when they think of the state of Georgia. Brasstown Bald is the highest point in the state. (27 points, 1 comment)
   3. The puppetry track at Dragoncon is by far the best track. Everyone meet Sparky the narwhal! He was born from a funnel and googly eyes. (20 points, 2 comments)
   4. To the Chinese, puppetry is for the Gods, not for entertainment. It lasts all day regardless of spectators. (7 points, 0 comments)
   5. Defunktland's documentary on the entire works and history of Jim Henson (2 points, 0 comments)
   6. Puppetry outside of the new world is not for children. (2 points, 0 comments)
   7. Sorry, but you guys hit my topic for the day. Did you know there was a centemuseum in Atlanta keeping the art of puppetry alive? (2 points, 1 comment)
7. 136 points, 3 submissions: twitch1982
   
   1. Solo Synchronized Swimming was a sport at the Olympic Games between 1984 and 1992. It is surprising that it took the organizers three Olympics to realize that a person swimming alone cannot be synchronized with anyone else. (99 points, 6 comments)
   2. When the Olympics Gave Out Medals for Art (23 points, 0 comments)
   3. Before there wis Biathalon, there was "Military Patrol" A team race where a squad with an NCO skied 30 km in uniform and with full backpacks before shooting. Here's a writeup of the event from 1924 (14 points, 0 comments)
8. 122 points, 3 submissions: tillandsia
   
   1. The Cuban Sandwich: Ham, pork, Swiss, pickles, mustard on one side, butter on the other, on Cuban bread, toasted on a sandwich press. (72 points, 2 comments)
   2. 1970s Cold War Era bunker - reminiscent of the one in "Blast from the Past" (49 points, 2 comments)
   3. Identical Twins, Roselle, NJ, photograph by Diane Arbus that inspired the twins in The Shining (1 point, 1 comment)
9. 107 points, 2 submissions: Cellophaine
   
   1. ReBoot - The world's first completely computer-animated TV series (82 points, 8 comments)
   2. Heritage Minutes - Aired frequently in the 90s, they have become part of many Canadians shared cultural identity (25 points, 1 comment)
10. 100 points, 3 submissions: Hanginon
    
    1. Zorg unveils the ZF1 to the Mengalors (73 points, 2 comments)
    2. US Civil Defense Nuclear Attack Warning Siren (24 points, 2 comments)
    3. Surprise! Radioactive Water Jugs Not as Healthy as Advertised (3 points, 0 comments)
11. 96 points, 6 submissions: starfleetbrat
    
    1. Einstein's twin paradox explained (43 points, 6 comments)
    2. Corner Gas - Comedy show about a small community in Dog River, Saskatchewan (30 points, 3 comments)
    3. The Littlest Hobo - Show about a dog who wanders town to town helping people. Aired in the 60s and was revived in 1979. (17 points, 5 comments)
    4. Sesquizygotic (Semi-Identical) Twins (3 points, 1 comment)
    5. The first McDonald's in Australia opened in Yagoona, Sydney in 1971. In 1972 a Big Mac cost 49 cents. (2 points, 1 comment)
    6. In Australia, McDonald's offers Vegemite as a condiment at some restaurants. (1 point, 0 comments)
12. 95 points, 1 submission: dogsdogssheep
    
    1. The Husband Stitch Isn’t Just a Horrifying Childbirth Myth (95 points, 12 comments)
13. 89 points, 1 submission: ItGetsBetterLove
    
    1. I see you've played knifey spooney before (89 points, 3 comments)
14. 80 points, 1 submission: sashallyr
    
    1. Kongregate, a site mainly known as a games platform, has been providing information and speaking at conferences about the math of idle games since the genre took off. A popular game is more than just numbers go up. (80 points, 4 comments)
15. 77 points, 2 submissions: metanonymous
    
    1. Letterkenny consists of hicks, skids, Christians and hockey players. (71 points, 4 comments)
    2. Murdoch Mysteries - Detective William Murdoch solves murders in the bustling city of Toronto in the early 20th century. (6 points, 1 comment)
16. 74 points, 1 submission: goofballl
    
    1. Wittgenstein: A hotdog ain't a sandwich, nerds. (74 points, 3 comments)
17. 73 points, 2 submissions: art-man_2018
    
    1. The Death of the Green Goblin/Harry Osborne, Amazing Spider-Man #122, 1973 (60 points, 5 comments)
    2. David Letterman's Worldwide Pants Incorporated Logo (1992) (13 points, 1 comment)
18. 72 points, 1 submission: jarvis400
    
    1. My Name Is Mr. Burns (72 points, 2 comments)
19. 71 points, 2 submissions: tb9757
    
    1. Want some cream? (64 points, 2 comments)
    2. No TV and no beer make Homer something something. (7 points, 0 comments)
20. 70 points, 3 submissions: dimmonkey
    
    1. You Can't Do That on Television!! (67 points, 9 comments)
    2. The one and only... Log Driver's Waltz!! (2 points, 0 comments)
    3. Introduce yourself to... The Chicken Lady! (1 point, 0 comments)
21. 65 points, 1 submission: BigD1970
    
    1. Metal band Mac Sabbath are exactly what you'd expect them to be. (65 points, 4 comments)
22. 61 points, 7 submissions: deadowl
    
    1. The Hair Raising History Behind The Monks Strange Haircut (32 points, 1 comment)
    2. After 145 years, Ringling Bros. Circus elephants perform for the last time (15 points, 1 comment)
    3. MAC and ME: McDonald's Rip-Off E.T. Movie (1988) - Rental Reviews (6 points, 2 comments)
    4. South Bronx Paradise - Aqua Teen Hunger Force (3 points, 0 comments)
    5. Cards Against Humanity (2 points, 2 comments)
    6. How Far Along? How Vermont Delivers Help for Pregnant Women With Opioid-Use Disorder (2 points, 0 comments)
    7. September 6th - Horror Movies (1 point, 0 comments)
23. 61 points, 2 submissions: GreekAlphabetSoup
    
    1. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character giving birth in the movie Junior (1994) (41 points, 3 comments)
    2. Tangles have an unfairly-negative reputation—it’s thanks to tangles that a whole new exciting world of science and technology exists! How about TELEPORTATION?! Does that do anything for you? Yeah, I thought so—and teleportation is only possible because of the quantum enTANGLEment of particles! (20 points, 1 comment)
24. 57 points, 1 submission: kernowgringo
    
    1. Everythings coming up Milhouse! (57 points, 1 comment)
25. 55 points, 1 submission: AuthorTomFrost
    
    1. Minoxidil's not a cure for baldness. It's a treatment. Once you stop taking it, you go bald again. (55 points, 6 comments)
26. 48 points, 3 submissions: RexStardust
    
    1. "Her Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?" (38 points, 2 comments)
    2. The Sweater - Animated version of Roch Carrier's "The Hockey Sweater" (7 points, 1 comment)
    3. Glory Enough For All - dramatization of Banting and Best's discovery of Insulin (3 points, 0 comments)
27. 47 points, 2 submissions: Sanlear
    
    1. ‘Impractical Jokers’ star is serious about reviving Staten Island beer (26 points, 1 comment)
    2. Visualising the pain away: VR tool for childbirth (21 points, 0 comments)
28. 45 points, 3 submissions: PhillipBrandon
    
    1. Night On Bald Mountain — Fantasia (1940) (23 points, 0 comments)
    2. Improv Everywhere's annual "No-pants Subway Ride" (11 points, 1 comment)
    3. Who Controls Childbirth? A holistically minded movement says women should—and that doctors are going about it all wrong. An expectant mom reexamines which side she's on. (11 points, 0 comments)
29. 43 points, 1 submission: ClarinetQuintetLargh
    
    1. How to make a film while traveling alone. A South Korean man from the opposite side of the Earth made a film while travelling alone 30 cities in Europe for 3 months. The scenes were filmed by passers-by willing to help him. It was his first trip for all of his life. Shot with a iPhone 5S. (43 points, 4 comments)
30. 42 points, 4 submissions: Vodo98
    
    1. Basque pelota was an official sport at the 1900 Olympics, the French won because the Spanish withdrew. No other team registered. (28 points, 2 comments)
    2. 3/5/09 FPL Nuclear Siren Test (10 points, 3 comments)
    3. Communist Party of Fiume (4 points, 0 comments)
    4. The Joker Blogs (0 points, 0 comments)
31. 40 points, 1 submission: Pastordan23
    
    1. The Mathematical Formula That Causes Your Headphones to Tangle (40 points, 2 comments)
32. 39 points, 1 submission: spiket918
    
    1. Don't hang up! Don't hang up! (39 points, 0 comments)
33. 38 points, 1 submission: adyd
    
    1. Trimps is an idle incremental game, where you breed a trimp army and travel through time. It has fairly consistent updates, an engaged creator, and an active subreddit. (38 points, 9 comments)
34. 37 points, 3 submissions: Mind_Killer
    
    1. Famous Poet Lord Byron was so obsessed with not becoming fat that his diet of red cabbage and cider became a fad in the 1820s (16 points, 2 comments)
    2. The Weirding Module - when the 1984 Dune movie replaced martial arts with a sonic weapon (14 points, 0 comments)
    3. The Dwight Insurrection - A failed revolution at a local paper company in Scranton, Pa. (7 points, 0 comments)
35. 36 points, 2 submissions: easy_being_green
    
    1. $pringfield (or, how I learned to stop worrying and love legalized gambling) is my favorite Simpsons episode. Here's 4 mins of some of its best parts. (23 points, 0 comments)
    2. Impractical Jokers - Scoopski Potatoes (13 points, 2 comments)
36. 36 points, 2 submissions: mass922
    
    1. The first meet of separated twins, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito in the classic 1988 film, 'Twins' (30 points, 2 comments)
    2. As an American, no matter how much time I spend abroad, foreign police sirens will always and forever remind me of this iconic Jason Bourne scene. (6 points, 0 comments)
37. 36 points, 1 submission: yankee4357
    
    1. Take That Camera Out of my Face (36 points, 0 comments)
38. 35 points, 2 submissions: JoeAconite
    
    1. Be COOL about Fire Safety - Allstate PSA (1995?) Gilbert Gottfried as smoke alarm Seemore Smoke (26 points, 3 comments)
    2. Thunderbolt Fantasy 東離劍遊紀- Episode 1 Scene 1 - Chinese Puppet Action Series. (9 points, 2 comments)
39. 35 points, 2 submissions: Juqu
    
    1. Skull - Card Games That Don't Suck (32 points, 2 comments)
    2. The red orphan's oath - song about the Finnish white terror (English lyrics) (3 points, 0 comments)
40. 34 points, 2 submissions: aleagueofmyown
    
    1. "Charly" is the movie adaptation of the novel Flowers for Algernon by American writer Daniel Keyes. (32 points, 5 comments)
    2. FM - Phasors On Stun (2 points, 0 comments)
41. 34 points, 1 submission: Opie67
    
    1. Heh heh heh. Clowns are funny. (34 points, 0 comments)
42. 31 points, 1 submission: PangurBaan
    
    1. SCP-2000. A Device to Repopulate your Apocalypsed Planet with 100,000 Viable, Non-Anomalous Humans Per Day (31 points, 13 comments)
43. 30 points, 1 submission: AwkwardGinger
    
    1. Worker and Parasite (30 points, 0 comments)
44. 29 points, 2 submissions: wtfisthisnoise
    
    1. Crazy Vaclav: Put it in H! (21 points, 0 comments)
    2. Üter: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate! (8 points, 0 comments)
45. 29 points, 1 submission: Polymath_B19
    
    1. Darth Vader wielding the lightsaber (29 points, 5 comments)
46. 27 points, 2 submissions: HunterHearstHoagies
    
    1. Sideshow Bob Rake Gag from Cape Feare. (25 points, 2 comments)
    2. Futurama: The Clamps (2 points, 0 comments)
47. 27 points, 1 submission: Dirty_Socks
    
    1. /RedditLaqueristas - Reddit's own nail polish group. Complete with weekly themes. (27 points, 0 comments)
48. 24 points, 5 submissions: Penguin-Pete
    
    1. Happy 71st birthday to horror legend, Michael Berryman - from The Hills Have Eyes and many other classics (13 points, 0 comments)
    2. The Catholic Horror Legacy - We're All Demon-Possessed Nun (5 points, 0 comments)
    3. 7 Of The Best Cannibal Horror Movies Ever Made - Spookwire (bonus section lists real life incidents of humans served at restaurants) (3 points, 0 comments)
    4. APOCRYPHA CANDIDATE: THE MANITOU (1978) - One of the most bonkers Exorcist rip-offs ever made. (2 points, 0 comments)
    5. Bad Assumptions Everyone Makes About A Zombie Apocalypse (1 point, 0 comments)
49. 24 points, 1 submission: Raeko
    
    1. Carts of Darkness: Documentary about a bunch of guys who ride shopping carts down hills and mountains in Vancouver. It seems like it could be a real life inspiration to Trailer Park Boys (24 points, 0 comments)
50. 24 points, 1 submission: batmandrew
    
    1. Listen, shut up for a second (24 points, 0 comments)

Top Commenters

1. Sledge420 (40 points, 5 comments)
2. 0and18 (37 points, 34 comments)
3. wetback (28 points, 1 comment)
4. BuiltFromScratch (27 points, 2 comments)
5. TheCreazle (27 points, 1 comment)
6. art-man_2018 (24 points, 3 comments)
7. jesseaknight (24 points, 2 comments)
8. no_frill (24 points, 1 comment)
9. jostler57 (23 points, 6 comments)
10. starfleetbrat (23 points, 6 comments)
11. YOUREABOT (22 points, 4 comments)
12. Sazazezer (22 points, 2 comments)
13. WaffleFoxes (21 points, 1 comment)
14. KevSaund (20 points, 4 comments)
15. Mysphyt (20 points, 4 comments)
16. RexStardust (20 points, 4 comments)
17. swizzler (20 points, 3 comments)
18. d20diceman (20 points, 2 comments)
19. Maja_May (20 points, 1 comment)
20. cholli8 (20 points, 1 comment)
21. fuelvolts (19 points, 2 comments)
22. nickoftime444 (17 points, 3 comments)
23. Dat_Paki_Browniie (13 points, 2 comments)
24. texacer (13 points, 1 comment)
25. anotherkeebler (12 points, 2 comments)
26. thedrunkdingo (12 points, 1 comment)
27. toodrunktoocare (12 points, 1 comment)
28. wil (12 points, 1 comment)
29. Doctor_of_Recreation (11 points, 3 comments)
30. I_Conquer (11 points, 2 comments)
31. Arkanii (11 points, 1 comment)
32. sashallyr (10 points, 2 comments)
33. power_yyc (10 points, 1 comment)
34. ryandave (10 points, 1 comment)
35. strangeplace4snow (10 points, 1 comment)
36. Shotgun_Mosquito (9 points, 3 comments)
37. UndercoverGypsy (9 points, 2 comments)
38. mlegs (9 points, 1 comment)
39. Mattimvs (8 points, 3 comments)
40. Bonobofun (8 points, 1 comment)
41. Penguin-Pete (7 points, 2 comments)
42. Dirtroadrocker (7 points, 1 comment)
43. IdleJamerican1 (7 points, 1 comment)
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1. 28 points: wetback's comment in The Husband Stitch Isn’t Just a Horrifying Childbirth Myth
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7. 20 points: Sazazezer's comment in The Death of the Green Goblin/Harry Osborne, Amazing Spider-Man #122, 1973
8. 20 points: cholli8's comment in The Husband Stitch Isn’t Just a Horrifying Childbirth Myth
9. 20 points: jesseaknight's comment in Solo Synchronized Swimming was a sport at the Olympic Games between 1984 and 1992. It is surprising that it took the organizers three Olympics to realize that a person swimming alone cannot be synchronized with anyone else.
10. 19 points: art-man_2018's comment in The Death of the Green Goblin/Harry Osborne, Amazing Spider-Man #122, 1973

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I am late for my presentation. I run past security. My expensive coat's wide variety of buttons is probably what makes the metal detector go haywire, but I guess I'll never know for sure. The morbidly obese security guard wakes up from his nap and confusedly squeals something I have no time to understand. In front of the elevators, dozens of people. I head straight for the stairs.
I
am
late
for my
presentation.
I am late for my presentation. I emerge on the sixth floor, sweating profusely. There's no way the security guard took the stairs, I should be fine. He probably had to wait to take a whole elevator for himself, too. I think things are looking good. I run along what seem like endless corridors.
I am late for my presentation. I storm in the office. There are a few other people already there. They’re all tightly sit, with their briefcases on their lap — shit I forgot about the briefcase — and wearing silly socks in their expensive black Oxfords. I'm out of breath.
I made it on time for my presentation. I walk towards the front desk and announce my na–
The director cuts me off.
He's seen enough.
We'll be in touch thank you he says.
Monotonically, like he's so used to them the words don't make any sense to him anymore.
Pyritially.

No, thank you.

I grab my actual coat, leave the actual room and, a few seconds later, the actual building. The security guard is probably still stuck in one of the elevators. There are no buttons on my coat.
Life's been shit recently. I mean, it's never been particularly great, but it really feels like it's been improving at a rate well below inflation as of late. Plus, it feels like autumn today: everything looks sad and cold and dirty and dead. Ah! Life in the city.
Reminds me of that German guy I met at a Halloween party once – Axel, or Ansel, something like that, anyway — he lifted his head from the table, wiped his nose with the back of his wrist, stared at the void between us for a while, then grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulled my face towards his, looked me straight in the eyes and said

^quote this sentence has been going on way too long ^{and unquote}

and then lied on the couch with a huge smile on his face. He was dressed as some kind of green hairy monster. It was horrifying. I’m pretty sure he died a few hours later. Overdose. That day, I learned a very important lesson: cocaine and heroin do not cancel each other out. Great guy.
I hop on the city bus. Realize I left my bus card home. Probably between the briefcase and something else I'll remember later. They don't accept card payment, because apparently it's still 1999. I hop off the city bus.
I had to take a Uber on the way here. I mean, I was late for the audition – aka " m e t h o d a c t i n g ". In my head, I carefully consider the possibilities and perform the calculations: it all comes down to Uber again now or food later. My father always told me planning for the future was the greatest gift you could give yourself. Well, here we are. And my starving bank account rarely looked so tasty. Maybe I'll go for pizza. Or straight for dessert, with a whole cheesecake. I love those.
I start walking home.
With miles to go and nowhere to be, life gets boring real quick. Even when surrounded with Apple stores and Google ads and Facebook likes and Amazon shops and Instagram people and Twitter feuds and Pinterest tattoos and — you get the idea — all expertly designed and meticulously devised to swallow you whole… I don’t know. I guess I make it a point of honour to vehemently ignore it all. A glorious mixture of equal parts valorous protesting and automatonophobia. Hence the boring thing.
So here I am, walking home, staring at my own feet like the fierce anticapitalist warrior I am.
When people ask me why I chose to become an actor, the first thing I always — always — do, is decide if their question is rhetorical or not. Luckily, most of the time it is.
When it’s not, I pick one of the numerous traumatizing backstories I came up with over the years, and unleash it on them. Sometimes my mother was a failed actress herself and forced her own hopes and dreams on her only son, sometimes she beat me when I didn't get the carecrow part in The Wizard of Oz musical in third grade; sometimes I came home to my father hanging in the garage after he was denied a — -nother — promotion by his immediate superior in the corporate ladder, sometimes his last words to me were "please get your act together" and I'm a very literal person. Sometimes I have to express myself in a flamboyant way real life isn’t compatible with; sometimes I’m just really into masochism.
Sometimes I was forced to join a cult as a child and they eventually sent me back into society as a sleeper agent and to this day I am forced to live as a discreet but lovable rando just trying to make his way through life and the best coping mechanism I found to deal with the loss of my true self is to become someone else than someone else for a two or three hours every few weeks, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat only to remember that none of this is real and there's a kid on the floor beside my bed and he's playing with my favorite toy car from my childhood — a 1:18 diecast model for Toyota Corolla 2011 red rare alloy — and when the kid looks at me his eyes and ears start bleeding and only shit the kid is me and he screams really loudly and my bed is on fire and I haven't found a satisfying conclusion for that one yet, sometimes my actor brother overdosed a few years ago and I didn't want my parents to know he was into hard drugs because he was always their favorite so I peeled his face off his head and stitched it over my own like a mask like I'm the fucking joker or something, and I've been assuming his identity full-time — minus the hard drugs stuff — since that day and the funny thing is my parents didn't react that much when they learned I was the one who had killed himself — which I effectively did, just not like that — and to this day nobody has found my brother's body and it kind of freaks me out how easily I pulled it off but hey don't tell anyone or I swear I'm going to show you where I hid the body, sometimes in the words of a great mind I met once this sentence has been going on way too long.
It doesn’t matter really. Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers. Most people end up regretting they did.
The sun goes into hiding, so do the last few Celsius of comfort and, lo and behold, rain. I hastily enter the first café I come across.
The shopkeepers bell chimes. The lone waitress greets me with a smile I think. Dim lights and anonymous faces are sparingly scattered throughout the place. I carefully consider a few empty tables and pick one at the back, along the wall, far away from — the waitress walks towards me and asks if I want something nothing thanks I answer and she says sorry but you can’t stay here if you don’t buy something — everyone, and that was a rhetorical question. In my head, probable hypothermia has entered the ring and joined the cheesecake's team, therefore tipping the balance in favor of living in the present. Sorry old man.
I order a bottle of mineral water I affrontingly plan on not drinking and lay back on my chair. Most people in the café seem to have a purpose: study for an exam, read a book, solve a crossword puzzle, serve mineral water.
Some girl is looking in my direction so I look somewhere else. My heart rate increases abruptly when, in my peripheral vision, she gets up. Instinctively, I turn to my phone and start meticulously reading the time and date on the screen.
If you are ever in a street race and want to get off the line before the other guy, you should stare at the road, not at the red light. That’s why goats and octopuses will roam the earth long after we’re all gone. Not that I care, I don’t have a car.
The girl says hey and sits down in front of me. I chuckle as time shifts to twelve plus one and nonchalantly — I’m an actor, remember — put the phone back in my pocket. I hey her back.
How’s it going she says.

^{ah fuck, here we go…} I’m good, how are you doing? ^{please get to the point already}

Her name is Jessica. The waitress — incidentally also a Jessica according to her name tag, hers however spelt with a K because she's special — comes back with my bottle of mineral water, an empty glass and a napkin, for some reason. I still don’t know what colour her eyes are. Thanks.
As I mechanically pour the contents of the water bottle into the empty glass, C-Jessica tells me she's good and that she just got back from Venice actually.
With a stupid smile on my face, I feign interest and proceed to recite — in order of popularity — the top three best questions to ask people who just came back from a trip. Every few seconds, I alternate between sipping mineral water from the glass and fidgeting with my now empty — and thus former — protest bottle because I don’t know what to do with my hands. I won’t be able to make my point to K-Jessica now, oh well.
During her monologues, C-Jessica often nonchalantly scratches various parts of her body — her ears, her neck, her thighs, her forearms, her ankles, but mostly her ears. I don't — choose not to — notice it, but that would seem like a lot of scratching to someone who did.
Amazingly, she also doesn’t seem interested in the conversation she's having while I drink my water, which makes it even worse. We both couldn’t care less, in very contrasting manners. I can feel my bladder filling up. What a mess.
I remember meeting CJ — short for C-Jessica of course — for the first time in an acting class, a little less than a year ago I think. She’d just arrived in the city, and that was the base of what I would qualify as a basic relationship, one where I knew her name was spelt with a C and she knew mine was not. Not that I was even aware of that back then — is her name even spelt with a C? Maybe there are two of those in there, or maybe nine, I don't know... but until I get to the bottom of this, CJ it is — but still. Best kind of relationship if you ask me.
Under the table, she's now vigorously rubbing her shoes together. Itchy feet I guess. When her story about how great paying a guy to paddle was finally comes to an end, I hesitate to make sure she’s aware cocaine and heroin don’t cancel each other out, but I elect not to. It might come out as rude, and thus provoke a longer discussion, or even a theatrical exit that would make people stare at me. And also I don’t care.

Do you still act?

My active participation is now required. Fuck.

^{yes, everyday love} Uh, yeah… I was at an audition just now. ^{oh for fuck’s sake kill me already}

I swear her face lights up a bit, but very briefly, in an almost subliminal way. Like a single frame of porn spliced into an episode of Sesame Street.
During that single frame, she was kind of pretty.

Oh really? That’s great!

Again, she obviously doesn’t give a single fuck, and I commend her for that.
>Yeah… I don’t think I’ll get the part anyway… ^{if only I hadn’t forgotten the briefcase}
In front of me, her behaviour abruptly evolves into that of a person with a crippling addiction.
^{dope man} Not necessarily a drug addiction; just an addiction, the type where you suddenly realize that every single time you give in, you’re making the biggest decision of your life, and you like it. ^dopamine
Her hands now calmly rest on the table; her feet on the ground. Her eyes are closed, and she exhales loudly. She’s about to say something.
Intrigued, I divert my attention away from her. Best way to ruin a big reveal is to provoke it, and if this whole encounter was gonna be worth something, that was it.

I may… I may have something for you.

My eyes return to her. She tries to resist. I let her, rule number eight.
She’s still on the fence.

^{you now have} What’s up? ^{my full attention}

She responds to my question, but for some reason doesn't answer it.

Do you remember… Axel?

I do — now that she talks about him, I do remember Axel. And he’s definitely not the dead grouchy halloween party couch cokehead. ^{sorry for that, axel}
I nod, worried ^{that this is going nowhere}

^{axel was another member of the acting class, he only made it a few weeks before quitting, he was pretty good, people that talented don’t normally show up in acting classes, but hey, you know, self-confidence issues I guess} Yeah? ^{self-awareness\})
He… he almost died a few months ago.

Well, that was underwhelming. She continues.

It was a traffic accident I think… …anyway, apparently he was… clinically dead for a few minutes before they brought him back. When I went… …when I went to see him in the hospital… he was fine…

She looks at me, fighting herself internally in an almost convincing manner. I let her, rule number seven.
She loses:

He told me about a way to get a basically twenty-four seven acting gig.

^{there it is} I've won ^{the fight}

What?

Convincingly.

He told me about a way to get a twenty-four seven acting job.

For the first time in our interaction, her acting is on point. She sells impatience really well.

Like… a reality show…? ^really?

Yeah kind of I guess she laughs.
Slowly, she pulls a red lipstick from her pocket as she gently touches the napkin before me and drags it across the table. With her lipstick, she draws something but I don't know what because for the whole time her eyes are holding mine hostage. Without looking down, she flips the napkin and slides it back to my side of the table.
Suddenly, she’s outside in the rain, walking away. She’s freezing.
I am terribly sorry her lips said. The words briefly fogged up the glass before vanishing away, unheard.
When she reached the door, she looked back at me. I think she was crying. I still don’t know what colour her eyes are.
She said she shouldn’t have told me about this.
Her laugh is bleak. She gets up from her chair. I let her, rule number three.
A few minutes later, I’m sitting alone at the table, bewildered. In front of me, the glass is empty, the bottle is crushed and the visible side of the napkin is intact. I get up to take a piss. Rule number five.
***
The Uber ride back home cost me eleven (plus two) bucks. The now out of reach cheesecake is far at the back of my mind anyway, but so is the probable hypothermia thankfully. What in the blue fuck was she talking about?
I throw myself on the couch. Now in the comfort of my home, surrounded by four familiar walls and the neighbour’s wifi, I look her up online on my phone.
After a few minutes of sleuthing, it looks like she only has Instagram and Twitter accounts, both pretty recent. Apparently she’s Serbian and Canadian. Also, either all her content has been wiped off, or she created her accounts and forgot about them, or she’s just lazy ^{or busy acting twenty-four seven}: no posts, no tweets, no followers, nothing. I look again, carefully: it’s clearly her in both profile pictures. I mean, I’m prettγ sure it’s her. That shit is getting weirder by the second.
Other search results are mostly tennis stuff, not much use.
Her Facebook account is either completely private, under a fake name or non existing.
^{if only}
But more importantly, there’s nothing on IMDB either. Hell, those guys even list 40s Danish movies and shit. But nope, no trace of her, even in the short films and commercials I know for a fact she was in. I even remember once in acting class — one of the last ones ever I went to — she told everyone she had gotten a small role in a full-length movie. And fuck your assumptions, I didn’t quit because of ^jealousy
Even when using her middle name — Georgia, apparently — I can’t find anything. No profile, no credits, no mentions, nothing. I feel like I'm living one of the fucked up stories I tell people to scare them away when they start making small talk, only this time I was only cast in a supporting role, and also it's real.
I look myself up, puzzled. Yup, still there, in all my glory. Weirdly, I'm relieved.
For a few seconds, I question my sanity: was it really her at the café earlier? And what — I pull the carefully folded napkin out of my pocket and examine it once more — it's like she wanted to draw an S but didn't remember how, so it looks like two interlocking Cs — to check if I'm missing something — does that mean? Again, I go through her ^empty social media profiles, and no doubt, it’s the same girl. That is CJ (apparently she baptized herself JGI, but since she does write her name with a C, I'm definitely keeping CJ). I mean, I’m ninetγ-nine percent sure it’s her.
Why the social media purge? And why the weird behaviour with the crying at the end? Not that I'm against it — in fact I can easily answer both those questions for myself... but can she? Was — Is — she acting twenty-four seven?
THE END
Come on man, I slept, maybe — I don’t know — thirteen minutes? And that’s rounded up by the way. It’s been weeks now and I still can’t get a proper night’s sleep. I’m not asking for much, mind you, so maybe take it down a notch about the fucking rules napkin ^{and the people in the window}. I looked online, I looked around, I looked outside… I even asked people on the street for fuck’s sake. ^{I know, it was horrible.}
Maybe if I didn’t look like a fucking coked up raccoon distributing raccoon pamphlets about the fucking raccoon church of mapachtli the roly raccoon or something, maybe — just maybe — I would have a better shot at getting an answer, or a hint of an answer, or hell maybe just a respectful "I don’t know, sorry" instead of a whole plate of fuck all with derision on the side. And my back hurts as fuck, do you even know how hard it is to stay still for a whole hour?
^{I’m in my bed. Every few seconds, the ceiling shakes under the weight of my neighbour walking around in his apartment. He’s probably getting ready to go to work. Also I don’t know where my pillow is, so my head rests on a folded pair of jeans. After the tenth or twelfth night, I swear you can’t tell the difference. Also, technically the couch is my bed. Plus, I prefer the term trash panda, it’s funnier, and yes, I know.}
That story should’ve ended already, everyone should’ve moved on, but god forbid I move on from something, right? Let’s leave the crimson curtain up, because that clearly wasn’t enough, right? Let’s all stay on the stage and improvise like we’re in a fucking acting class for people with raccoon-like features because yeah why not? Let’s remain id^{le in here for a while. Awesome idea, give me a pound of those please and thank you. And I swear to god Huge Robin if you don’t stop tap dancing around your fucking living room I’m coming up there and I’m locking you up in your freezer no matter in how many parts I have to cut you, unknowingly providing free wifi does not grant you the right to-}
If I had to someone to apologize to, that is where I’d do it.
I get up from the couch, and put on my pillow jeans. I’m on the verge of a breakthrough, I can feel it. The jeans are already warm, it’s kind of nice.
I go to the bathroom, and brush my teeth while I pee — aka " m u l t i t a s k i n g ". Then I splash water on my face because why n-
Bang^knockBang^knockBang^knock
Someone bangs ^{— knocks —} on my door. Three times, in quick succession.
I remain perfectly still. Silence. Moment.
Nobody ever knocks on my door. What day is it? Is the first of the month? I’m sure I put my cheque yesterday in the janitor’s mailbox as usual, I always do, but what if I didn’t what if — wait, is it him? is it the janitor? is he coming to claim the rent because i didn’t put it in his mailbox yest-
Knock^bangKnock^bangKnock^bang
holy shit what the fuck do i do why ^{the fuck} is ^{there someone} the janitor insisting I come ^knocking at the door what does he want I never pay rent late but wait today’s not even the first it’s the 28 it doesn’t make an^{y sense why would he want the rent four days in advance what the-}
Slowly, I move my head a few inches back. The microwave in the kitchen ^{come on man, on the floor, beside the} bed ^{— couch —} indicates it’s
7:06 : 7:06 : 7:07 :
— meaning it’s actually 1:23 — no wait, :22 ^{— I really should set it to the correct time, it’s been like a month and a half since the power outage, and multiple calculations everyday just to see if I should eat or not is getting kind of- —}, probably AM judging by the total absence of sunlight.

Is everything OK in there?

Oh for fuck’s sake. HR ^{— short for neighbour of course}.

Yeah?

I’m genuinely intrigued. Why wouldn’t everything be OK?

Alright, sorry, it’s just… There was a lot of noise and some of us are trying to sleep you know…

Yeah, tell me about it.
***
The sunlight is now directly hitting ^{the left side of} my face. I don’t really care, it feels kind of nice. My eyes are burning. I stay still for a while. ^{Apparently I’m pretty good at it.}
In front of me, my laptop plays a Youtube video ^{about fucking chocolate chip cookies — not fucking fucking, but fucking as in "let’s compare fucking chocolate chip cookies" — I mean,} really? That^{'s your recommandation?}. To my left, nothing at all, and above that, the wind^{ow. That part of the description is useless. But} wait, is it^{? I swear something moved outside, just as I looked. That would be scary, right? Anyway,} to my right, a writing pad filled with notes and drawings and ramblings and stuff ^I don’t even remember writing. Some of the most interesting pages have been promoted and pinned to the wall in front of me. At the center of all those, the ^fucking napkin.
In the few days following my encounter with CJ, the CC symbol — I ended up deciding it represented two interlocking Cs instead of an S because nobody ^{in their right mind} draws an S like that — didn’t really affect my day-to-day life^{, probably because I didn’t} have ^{a day-to-day life.} I also flirted with the idea that the symbol was in fact a C and a D, but again, why the interlocking configuration, and why the no-vertical-line on the D? ^{I know, I know, why didn't she draw two Cs side by side then. Trust me, I tried.} So CC it is.
When the casting director for the "late employee number three" part didn’t get in touch — fucking liar — I understood I didn’t get it. I was kind of counting on that to cover the expenses for that month, so that was a bummer. I went to a bunch of other open auditions in the following days, but when I got a total of zero calls, I checked my phone only to remember I had to top up my account because I had run out of funds a while ago. Ah! the archaic world of pre-paid calling cards. I then realized paying for anything else than food and shelter at that point would be dumb as fuck, and eventually came to the conclusion that the acting thing clearly wasn’t gonna cut it.
I went to the library and looked for quick ways to make money, and stumbled upon an ad asking for art models, no experience needed. Three to six hours a day, 30 bucks an hour. Pumped, I didn’t read the rest and I noted the address on my hand with a pen ^{I had to borrow from the librarian} and went right away. When they explained to me that it was a nude modelling job, it kind of cooled me of^{f but then I thought when am I going to find another opportunity to make that much money with so little effort so I said fuck it and I now make 90 to 180 bucks a day. I kind of enjoy it, too.
But that’s when the shit hit the fan really. The modelling part is fine — after the third or fourth session I had already registered most of the poses they wanted me to take, I guess I have a knack for it — but that caused me to go in and out of my place multiple times almost everyday, and walk for about twenty to thirty minutes every time — depending on the time of the day.} I must admit though, their cafeteria cheesecake is almost worth it on its own. ^{I eventually started taking Ubers, but it barely helped.
The first ti}me I really noticed it was on a poster ad at the college I work at, about a month ago. I remember it very clearly.
REINVENT YOURSELF Angeldeer Community College
It was kind of subtle, but I immediately noticed it. Was that it?
From there, I started seeing them everywhere. the corner store accepts all major credit cards, sign up for the cross country competition next saturday, our customer care department is available weekdays between six and eight am, noon to four pm d-"Hello, my name is Yukana, how can I help you today?"^{. No matter where I looked, no matter for how long, no matter how loud, no matter how far — I couldn’t escape it. watch it to}night at ten only on comedy central, did you know colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in canada, what you’ve never seen fight club it’s such a ^{cult classic.}
That's how I knew I was right: she meant CC ^{and I was left behind, trapped in some kind of Baader-Meinhof nightmare.}
Also, ^{I started having a lot of money} — more than I ever had — ^{in my pockets and time on my hands. At first, I managed it pretty OK I'd say, saving it for the future} — you're welcome Dad —^{, things like my own car — I've always liked the chevy corvette — or a cabin deep in the woods, or maybe in the country with cows and goats and stuff. But first things first. I figured that if I were to} finally ^{have a "regular" job, might as well go all in and try to have a "regular" life. I bought a beat-up chromebook on craigslist.
closed captioning on netflix movies, carbon copies on emails, cheat codes in video games} — I got an Xbox for free when I bought my 4K smart TV — ^{please check the cable connection and try again.} The first week or so, I spent most of my free ^{— clothed —} time catching up on the world, drowning in thousands of feeds and posts and threads and all that every day. Turns out it’s fascinatingly addictive. ^{Let me just close the curtains, I think there’s some}thing^one outside. An animal probably. Woop! there we go, we're all safe now, go back to sleep. Fucking raccoons. ^{I saw an ad on Facebook yesterday about a miracle raccoon repellent, I should probably check that out.} Yeah, I've abadonned the whole fierce anticapitalist warrior-thing ^{— "regular" life, remember?} The fuckers only give full access to their platform once you’ve signed up ^{— the price of something free I guess, a compromise I had to make.} Oh yeah, and Tinder is great, too.
^{Jessica still hasn’t posted anything to this day,} creative commons licenses on images, a coca-cola ad before the video, crazy catch by cole cishek gives the chicago cubs the win, watch now.
Now that the sun is hidden by the closed curtain, I return my attention to the computer screen. Autoplay is on. I now watch a video about fried cinnamon crunch cheesecake bites, and then two hands and a voice teach me how to make the creamiest cheesecake. This goes on for a while. Up next: can these chefs create these twin’s magical feast.
Noise. Movement. I get up from the bed and open the curtain in a swift motion, trying to scare the raccoons away.
Outside, thousands of easels lined up like a war grave.
Inside, I’m completely naked, completely still, completely saved.